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15 year old coming to stay!

My husband's sister has been in a lot of trouble with the cops lately and while she gets herself onto the right path me and my husband are having her daughter coming to stay with us for a while. She's always been difficult and we recently found out that this was due to her mother's abusive boyfriend but you can really see that she is a good kid underneath! My question is how do I connect with her and try to make her feel better? Ideas would be much appreciated, thanks!

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haleykarson

Asked by haleykarson at 1:55 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I guess the only suggestion I have is to let her know you are there for her without forcing your way in. If you pry or try to dig too deep, she will end up resenting you for it and it will only make things harder. Don't just tell her you will be there, show her you support her. Include her in family decisions and meetings. Expect the same of her as you do your own children, but not more. She should know you see her as an equal to the house. Good Luck
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 1:58 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • talk to her and change her to be a good person. talk and talk all i got to say.
    __baovang

    Answer by __baovang at 2:02 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Definintely TALK TO HER...dont bombard her, but let her know you are there for her and will talk! BUT also establish rules and consequences when the rules are broken AND STICK TO THEM. Make sure she is clear of it. There is definitely a issue there with her, but give her outlets and things to do, so she wont have a chance to act up or out. Get her into some type of mentoring program that deals with girls or children that were in those situations, and possibly counseling. Most of all the thing with the rules. One thing you CANT do is let her walk over you because of what happened to her. Sometimes, kids like that realize they can use that to there advantage. It'll make it worse.
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 3:25 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • talk to her not at her,
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 3:48 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Counseling would be#1. Watch movies with her. Make or buy chcoclate and popcorn with movies(all girls like that). Have a girls day out.,Fingernails and toenails,shopping and just attention.If you cant afford girls day out then do it at home with games, movies, etc.Patience, love, understanding, and just alot of your time and attention.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • really talk to her, get to know her friends! ~ have her a small "welcome to our home " party! " invite her friends ~ let her have sleep overs & include her in everything from outings to fixing dinner, make her feel special she NEEDS this, above all make her part of your family in EVERYTHING, don't be afraid to tell her NO either :)
    good luck
    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 1:47 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Find out what she is interested in and go with it. Art? take a class with her. Idle hands do the devils work...keep her busy.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:19 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

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