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Dealing with parenting advice from a non-parent?

Why is it those who are not parents always seem quick to add their advice and thoughts on parenting...even without being asked?

I have a very good friend- she's got no kids of her own yet- but feels because she "raised" her next store neighbors kid from infancy and took care of the other kids too that she knows it all, and knows best. She's that's kids God Mother but its seriously much different taking care of someone else's kid and taking care of your own. The child was adopted, she took care of her from birth- to the point where the girl called her momma and perfered her over her adoptive mother. (shows how much real mom was around)...but still that doesn't make her a parent...

Everytime I say something on facebook, like how he woke me up twice to get him water and help him find his book and I was exhausted...she's got a comment on how to FIX that "problem." Or she's always got advice how hot ot deal with this or that and it's getting annoying. I mean every child is different and what worked for her with the child she watched may not work for my son.

Anyone have to deal with a friend like that? I love her to death...but it's so annoying to be getting advice when I'm not asking.

 
stephanieplante

Asked by stephanieplante at 1:42 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (478 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • You quote " Yeah, I did my best parenting before I had kids too."
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:15 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I saw something the other day...

    11 Step Program For Those Thinking About Having Kids:

    Lesson 1



    1. Go to the grocery store.

    2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

    3. Go home.

    4. Pick up the paper.

    5. Read it for the last time.



    Lesson 2



    Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

    1. Methods of discipline.

    2. Lack of patience.

    3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

    4. Allowing their children to run wild.

    5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

    Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.



    L
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Lesson 6



    Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

    1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

    Leave it there.

    2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

    3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

    4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.



    Lesson 7



    Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Smile and say when she is giving advice to you you have such a wealth of knowledge this will be a good thing when you have your own. be polite but firm. Its always easier when the kid is someone elses.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:45 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • everyone knows people like that! just ignore her.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 1:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011



  • Lesson 7



    Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



    Lesson 8



    1. Hollow out a melon.

    2. Make a small hole in the side.

    3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

    4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

    5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

    6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.



    You are now re
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:48 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.



    Lesson 9



    Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.



    Lesson 10



    Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.



    Lesson 11



    Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Lesson 11



    Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.



    This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You know, I'm that kind of person. I am currently ttc and pretty much raised my siblings since the age of 10, have baby sat, been a nanny, worked with kids. Just because I don't have any of my own doesn't mean I don't have some helpful good advice to share from the experience of being around children alone. From infancy on up. I don't walk around telling someone how to "raise" their child but if a friend of mine who does have children has something going on and I have information from experiencing it myself I offer help. Maybe your friend is just trying to be helpful in sharing something that she learned?
    Advice is advice you can accept it kindly and decide to try it for yourself but don't sit there and think just because she doesn't have a child of her own doesn't mean she doesn't know what she is talking about.
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 1:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • If a non parent is someone who works with children in a professional manner, I'll listen. They may have some tips. :) Most of the time, NO, I don;t think they know any better having NOT experienced parenthood.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 2:25 PM on Jan. 11, 2011