Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What are you doing to not have an out of control child?

In a world where people take things in my opinion lightly how are you raising your kids to be responsible people? I grew up in a place where children respect adults no cussing around them and definitely no talking back. In am age where kids seem to have no respect for no one not even the police what are you doing to try to stop this insane cycle.

What do you think other people can do so that our society is not at risk for little things like disciplne and stupid things? Just wondering.

Answer Question
 
karing4elmas

Asked by karing4elmas at 3:41 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (6,210 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Among other ways, kids learn by example. I know too many who swear and are belligerent and behave badly and then wonder why their kids are the same way. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • My children are all grown now, but I did the hard stuff to teach them that they had to respect authority and that they had to obey the rules. It seems to me that the trend nowadays is to allow children to grow into their own understanding of what is right and what is not. That simply is not the way it works. Children have to be taught and it is a hard and arduous task for which many people today seem to be ill equipped. Saying "no" and enforcing it is of utmost importance.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Don't take it!!!!! The most important thing to do is say no. i know parents who say oh she will grow out of it or its just a stage. Displine is so important because your kids will know what they can and cant do.
    momnamedeva

    Answer by momnamedeva at 3:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I discipline like you wouldn't believe. I will not tolerate disrespect or tantrums. I have many people tell me that I am doing a great job of teaching my DD to be a responsible, polite person and then I have one person telling me that I don't spank enough. Spanking isn't necessarily the answer to everything like it was when I was growing up.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 3:53 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Right I hate the small minded parents who believe it is a phase or I do not want him/ her to not like me. My son get punished for things because if I do not show him and allow him to walk the wrong path some one who does not love him might try to fix my mistake. I think parents mold kids into what they will try and understand in life I do not want my child to take the wrong paths. So me and my husband are really honest to a point since he is 2 but know that not telling kids does not help. In a world where kids have more ways to get info without parents knowing we want to let him know the truth.

    karing4elmas

    Comment by karing4elmas (original poster) at 3:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • DH says that I smother DD... But my mother raised me with very little discipline and not a lot of affection. As a young person, I was unsure about appropriate boundries and behavior. As a result, I had to learn so many things the hard way. I never want DD to to feel insecure because she wasn't taught how to be appropriate, respectful, and affectionate. I cover her in kisses and aggravate her with constant hugs, I teach her how to be polite and I demand respect, I'm consistent with my expectations and consequences, and model kindness and confidence. I also encourage her to stay active and nurture her talents. In public, if I see a child acting out, I privately use the incident as an example of how NOT to act, so DD can see what certain behavior looks like from an outsider's standpoint.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Children learn by example. If they have a good example they're more likely to be a good example.
    Diciplining them. Giving them bounderies, limites, rules, and the-like. When they know their limits they are more likely to stay on a straight line.
    Getting attention, praise, and having a good relationship with their parents. (And other family) When children have a good relationship with their parents they're more likely to be better kids. When they get praised for what they do instead of always being told what they're not doing (or doing wrong) they're more likely to succeed. When they get the attention and comradery from their family they tend to be better kids.
    There are a lot of things we as parents can do. It's not societies job to raise our children, it's our job. If we stand up and take responsibility for our children then we can help them be good people.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:09 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I live a life I would be proud for my children to model and I treat them with the same respect that I expect from them.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • well...i'm a Christian mom, married...i homeschool and i spank...take things away....and i talk to my kids about their actions and the consequences there of. i tell my kids the truth about what awaits them if they act crazy.

    i am not suggesting that spanking works for every child, but SOMETHING needs to be done. we are not these kids friends, there needs to be an established set of boundaries and rules put into place to let these kids know that respect is key!

    i do little things like make my children speak and speak up CLEARLY when being spoken to...i make them pick up things in the store and put them back where they belong...to help teach them a sense of consideration and responsibility for others.

    i have, as my son probably thinks and would agree...my 'long/boring' conversations with him where i speak frankly, honestly and boldly and I tell him why i am doing it.
    napps

    Answer by napps at 4:54 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • It is a lot of role modeling in our home. We are resonsible and loving as a couple and with our child. Each day, many times during the day, we do family hugs. My son loves this. In this way he knows he is loved. He told how much we love him. Having your parents show love and compassion translates into a child who does the same. When he makes a poor choice we teach how to correct it and what to do differently the next time. It is just a matter of opportunity and learning as he goes along. Empathy, compassion....those are the qualities I hope he will grow with. Often we brainstorm together about what we need to do to resolve an issue. We think of several different solutions and possible outcomes. My goal is to get him to think and it starts by learning the process of how we problem solve.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:30 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.