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4 Bumps

Get Him Out!!!!

My oldest is 20 and is in college. He has no major but a job at wal mart. He pays no rent and just wants to stay at home. He brings girls over, eats our food, and doesnt help out. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by momnamedeva at 4:26 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (95 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • mkae him pay rent!!, mine is 18 and me and hubs talked about this,, we are about to go through what you are going through!

    Answer by gardenchic at 4:26 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Tell him that he real world is a hard place and either he need to pay something or go get his own place. Make him show you respect and do something that benefits you .

    Answer by karing4elmas at 4:27 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Print up a billed invoice with how much you think is fair for rent. Then tell him that you understand he's in school but he has a choice. Either start helping out and paying rent or move. Give him like 30 days or something. He's an adult and is old enough to be responsible for himself.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:28 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Ask him to pay some rent, or buy some groceries, or both. When I was 20 and in college I there was no way I would have been able to supprt myself, but I also had to respect my parents wishes.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Make him pay rent, even if its just a couple hundred. Its something and it will help teach him responsibilities.

    Answer by jeslynn1818 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Go back to the beginning with an eye to teaching respect and appreciation?

    Alternately, you could find a way to value and respect yourself so you're not so 'open' to being held hostage to what other people want.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:30 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Make some rules and enforce them or tell him he has to live somewhere else. Our children lived at home while they went to college, and they ate our food, but they also respected us enough to ask if it was okay before they invited company to come over and they helped us out, too. My guess is that your son has not been made to obey a set of rules when he was younger, and he intends to do as he pleases now. It's up to you to put a stop to it, and you will have to be very hard-nosed. Just remember it is your house, so it's your rules. He can either live by them or go somewhere else. His choice!

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • If you have a problem with it then you should make him contribute to the rent/or and other bills. Many people allow their adult children to live with them as long as they attend college because if they were in school away from home, you would still be paying something (most likely). If he was going to graduate in a timely manner (4yrs) I would just let him concentrate on school, but the girls wouldn't be coming over.

    Answer by CocoaQT at 4:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Make him pay rent or move out.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Since he is in college and has a job, I would be willing to let my child stay at home but with RULES- 1. pay rent 2. keep grades up 3. pay for own food (other than what I would prepare for meals) 4. pick up after themselves and do their own laundry. 5. be respectful to the fact that others live there (meaning, no parties, or staying up late making lots of noise etc.)

    If all these rules were being met then I would let my child stay at home while attending college. If they didn't follow these rules they would be out on their own.

    Answer by sue118 at 5:01 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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