Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How come there has to be signs for when we want to get frisky with our men?

I made the mistake of teling one of my friends that Im at the point in pregnancy where my sex drive is gone!! I hate it!! But Im tring. Well I figured that at 11:30 at night he would come to bed, and maybe I could get something started. Well 12:15 rolls around and Im like. oooookkk.. hes out n the livng room watching roomate play call of duty.. So I text him from the room, saying Unglue your butt from the gaming couch and come to bed, im about done waiting" with a smily face. Well he came to bed annoyed. NOT MY INTENSIONS at all. I guess to him it came off bitchy.. and I will say it did come off a bit that way, but I was expecting him to reply with a why or somthing to that effect. Well needless to say, he was mad. and im like I meant that funny not bitchy. hes like well you need to give signs you want to do something cause your the one that said your not wanting to do anything right now. UGH.. i felt bad, but why do i need to give signs?? I was just gonna do something when he came to bed. dont tell me your coming to bed in 2 min and 35 min later your not here. UGH.. so that killed our moods... I hate not having a high sex drive anymore. and im not one to talk dirty.. im just not good at it

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Men are Dumb. Make a code phrase like...I want some Cupcakes when you want to have sex. That way he KNOWS what your thinking.

    Answer by Misteh at 4:33 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • lol i like that.. didnt cross my mind

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Text him some boobies... that can be your sign.

    (o Y o)

    Make sure you tell him that it is your sign or he will probably miss that too. Men are dumb sometimes. You just have to spell things out completely. No subtle hints, guys generally don't get subtle.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • He should have picked up on what you meant, especially with the smiley. Sheesh

    Answer by Bmat at 4:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Because men are basically clueless. They don't understand subtlety. You have to be straightforward. With some, you have to hit them over the head with a 2 X 4! Better luck next time!

    Answer by Inloveagain at 4:35 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • LMAO funny!! yes they are. as he says "we men are simple minded"

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:37 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You have discovered that your communication isn't working the way you hope, so you need a different technique, yes?

    When you're not busy doing something else... and neither is he... ask him how he likes to be approached. And, maybe before you do that, think about how you like to be approached, so you can tell him.

    Don't be surprised if his answer is 'I dunno' --because yours is, isn't it? I mean, when you've never thought about it, you're both flailing around in the dark... some things seem to work sometimes and other times what you think is the same thing doesn't work at all.

    Be confident in the ability to have more than one conversation --or a continuing conversation--on the same subject. Share what you've discovered, ask what your s/o has learned, see if you can figure out a pattern or a trick --code word, or gesture or facial expression...

    What you're trying to say isn't 'gimmme' but 'I'm interested, you? No pressure.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • blank stareGuys can be so clueless!  Even a smiley face?  Lordy!


    Answer by ChezBelle at 4:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • My thoughts on what you have shared.

    I do think we need to not just give subtle "signs" to our partners when we are sexually interested, but that women should take the initiative and flat out tell their partners when they are interested. Our partners can't read our minds, just like we can't read theirs. Many women try to give subtle hints, or just expect their partners to just know that they are interested. Some if not many of the women who do this, end up with hurt feelings and feeling resentful because their partner didn't "get" the signs they were tossing out. The best way to avoid hurt feelings, possible resentments or angry when it comes to this ares, is by actually telling our partners what we want/need/have in mind/would like to do..etc. You say what happened wasn't your intention. Did you tell him what your intentions were? If not, how could he have known/interpreted what you unvoiced intentions were. KWIM.


    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I have the same problem with my guy. So what do I do now? I walk into the living room where he's playing games, stand in front of the tv, take off my top and say "Come on, let's do this."

    Answer by alf2651 at 8:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.