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How do you get a man to GET it in regards to money and bills?

Seriously, my dh has been driving me nuts lately. He means well, but honestly he does not get it. He can't fathom why I need help with paying the bills and he doesn't offer until I put it out there. I mean really he should just ante up without me always having to ask, but he doesn't. Do all men do this or am I just blessed with a clueless one?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Ok, to the ladies that are in charge of the bills and don't let their husbands help...please listen! It's fine for you to take charge and pay the bills, but at least let your husbands in on the details. I used to just take the money and pay the bills and my husband was clueless as well. Then one day my husband came home and said that a guy he works with had lost his wife suddenly in a car wreck. The wife had been the one to handle all the money and stuff. The husband was now left with 3 kids to raise and not a single CLUE about their finances...who they owed, how much, when it was due...(cont'd)

    Answer by mizkaye at 10:50 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Why don't you create a budget and tell him just how much his end of the deal is each month?
    With men, if you can do it and do it alone, he sees no need to offer. Tell him what you expect so there is no ambiguity.

    Answer by companygoddess at 3:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • lol i dont i took his cards and i give him an allowence. some men can do a budget some cant my man cant. Women are better with money as it is most of the time.

    Answer by youngarmywife at 3:13 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • My husband just deposits his check and I take over... He comes to me when he needs money.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 3:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • My husband hands over his check every Friday and I pay all the bills. End of story. I get paid every two weeks so that's when most of our bills get paid. He's never paid a bill in his life and I'm not about to let him start.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 4:47 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I love all the answers....I wish it were that simple, my DH goes in sperts one week he thinks he needs to be in charge and the next he wants me to do what I need to, we have no set system which makes it rough.

    Answer by olleyblu28 at 10:10 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • (cont'd) So, in addition to burying his wife, consoling his kids and grieving the loss of his partner this guy is now in the dark about his own finances. He came back to work and told every man that he worked with to go home that night and sit down with his wife and get in on the bills and money. And that's what my husband did. I still handle the bills...I still manage the money...but when I do the budget, my husband is right there with me and we discuss our financial plans and goals together about once a month or so. At the beginning of each year, we set goals for our money together...1 year, 5 year, and 10yr goals as well as go over our retirement savings and make sure it's doing well. (cont'd)

    Answer by mizkaye at 10:54 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • (cont'd) It's important for both of you to be in on the money decisions since they affect both of you. And since money is the number one thing couples fight about having a plan and working together heads off that argument before it starts. Sorry to hijack the question like this...but it's such an important topic, especially right now with our economy like it is, that I thought it was important to pass along what my husband and I have learned. Good luck!

    Answer by mizkaye at 10:56 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Excellent answer mizkaye! Great advice!

    Answer by hibicent at 11:29 AM on Nov. 14, 2008