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9 Bumps

Why do you think so many marriages fail and why is cheating so rampid these days?

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Darla47

Asked by Darla47 at 5:37 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,806 Credits)
Answers (35)
  • Because most men are dogs. Men are selfish and single minded and only care about themselves.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Lack of self control and living in the age of anything goes as long as it makes you "happy".
    bb510

    Answer by bb510 at 5:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Because as a society the marriage vows are no longer taken seriously. "Til death do us part" should now be replaced with "Till you hack me off and I go out looking for something better."
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:40 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • there are countless reasons for both. it could start at the beginning, why the couple married in the first place. was it only for convenience, was it only for a baby on the way? sometimes these reasons end in divorce, as the couple really never decided if marriage was the right option.

    or it could have been something else. failure to communicate, trust issues, control & insecurities, work schedules, cheating.

    no idea what drives a person to cheat after they've given themself to someone else. weakness maybe, vengeful perhaps?

    ive always believed all options should be exhausted before considering divorce - marriage counseling, time away or time together alone, whatever it takes. even if it's cheating, you don't have to get divorced. there might still be something to salvage. this was the case in my marriage.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:41 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Alot of people don't take marriage seriously anymore. They don't understand that it's hard work to make it work. You go threw a rough patch and their immediate reaction is to get a divorce instead of taking the time and effort to fix the problem. Also people are selfish when it comes to relationships. They only want to do what's best for them and not the whole unit.
    As far as cheating there are just too many variables to speculate on it. Other than the whole selfish thing again.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 5:41 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • My personal thoughts in regards to your questions..

    I have been married 25 years.. I have also survived infidelity (my husband had a one night stand 16 years ago).

    Divorces: marriage is hard. Marriage is a lot of work. Marriage is just as much about fully accepting someone's faults as we do their perfect aspects. Marriage takes cold hard honest and open communication at times, honest and safe communication all the time. Marriage takes not just looking at and addressing your spouses faults and errors but yours as well. A marriage is what the 2 people in that marriage want it to be. Many do not know, understand much less accept and are willing to work with all of these aspects of marriage. There is no such thing as movie/fairy tale love, all Princes/Princess have their worts. There will be bad times and good times, those times and how a couple gets through them depends on them.

    Cont.. below
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:42 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Divorce is common these days because people fall in "love" so easily and run off and get married after a week of knowing each other. People do not marry out of practical love anymore. You know back in the day when people married because there was a benefit for each person-land, money etc. People fall in love with someone every other week and run off and get married. It' too easy to get married. It should be more difficult to get married, a test or something. If people were smarter about who they married, and thought it through more, divorce wouldn't be so common.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 5:43 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • First thing, cheating has been going on from the dawn of time. Men and women. Marraiges have been failing for just as long.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:45 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Many people marry the wrong people, or get married for the wrong reasons (maybe the right person, but bad timing). Many people also don't want to, or don't think they should, put the work into a marriage that it requires. When the rough times come, they run. Some people just don't have any respect for themselves or others. Also, there is such a sense of entitlement lately, and that has crept into relationships. It's sad, really. Because then children are brought up into their parents messes, and they think that's what marriage is. Then they fall into it, too.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Cheating: Cheating happens for many different reasons. Each individual who cheats cheats for their own individual reasons. However, most of the time those reasons can be brought down to very simple terms.. That person is/was unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied with ***themselves** / or their marriage. Many (if not most) cheat because they are trying to fill some "need" (whether real or perceived). And instead of trying to be honest with their partners about what is going on in their relationship, they reach out to someone else to fill that need. Those needs range from: sex to friendship.

    I truly believe (based on my own experiences with cheating and those of friends/family) that if more couples had really good honest communication in their relationship. Communication about anything and everything. There possibly could be less cheating going on.

    Also cheating really isn't rampant. Cheating has always happened. Always will
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:47 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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