3.5 years ago when my husband and I met, he warned me that his parents would not approve of our relationship because we are from different religious backgrounds. I asked him, why bother upsetting them. We didn't HAVE to start a relationship. But he insisted, saying he really cared about me and didn't want his parents to pick his mate. As assumed, they were not happy about us being together when they found out and when things got serious. We were pregnant after 1.5 years of dating and their answer to finding out was abortion/adoption. We of course didn't pursue either. When the baby was born, they refused to meet her or even look at pictures he would try to show them. They also didn't share or allow him to share the news with the rest of the extended family. With all of us living in the same city, it was bound to get out and it did when his uncle ran into us in public. Then the news spread like a wildfire. So did the news of us planning a wedding and expecting another baby. His parents had basically cut him off by then.
All of a sudden about 2 months before the wedding, they did a 180. They finally met their granddaughter at age 15 months and bought my husband a new suit for the wedding. They even decided to attend last minute. Paid the officiant and gave nice gifts. Since the wedding, things have only got better. They have us over frequently and are the ideal in-laws. They even babysat once when my husband went to go vote. Treat us like we've been this close all along.
Needless to say, I was weird-ed out by the whole thing and wandered what were their real intentions. We were in premarital counseling at the time and the therapist said to just be happy they came around and let it go. I find that hard to do sometimes. I keep thinking about how they treated us before the 180. About the time when they called him one day to say not to call them back until he was ready to leave me. That was after finding out about the 2nd baby. I'm curious as to why the sudden change. DH and I assume his outspoken grandmother (his dad's mom) and/or other family members talked with them and told him how ridiculous they were acting. I also feel I/we deserve an apology from them. Should I address them with my concerns, or take the therapist's advice?
Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by kimmeyj7 at 6:26 PM on Jan. 11, 2011
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Answer by cnoble927 at 6:16 PM on Jan. 11, 2011
Next question overall
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