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ALL my friends & my BF seem to think my son will not react well to having a sibling. any advice for siblings?

My son is 6. will be 7 three months after his little sister arrives!! :) But My friends and BF think that he is going to be rotten and mean. He has been an only child all his life and maybe a year with a step sister when his dad married (getting divorced now). I think he may have some normal issues like any other child. but I try to make sure that he knows he will be loved just the same. only issue is that she may be handicapped and need alot of help. but i want him to feel included as much as possible. they seem to thnk he will actually want to hurt the baby and I think its obsurd

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mommyoftristan

Asked by mommyoftristan at 6:59 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,903 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • How does your son feel about this? He is old enough to get an idea of what is happening. You are his mother and you know him more than your friends do.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 7:01 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • My son was 5 years old I had my second. Yes, it was an adjustment period for him. Some things that help with the transition is some kids books on new arrivals to the family and also make sure that each of you have some one -on- one time with him where you can focus only on him. That will help.
    Jambo4

    Answer by Jambo4 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • He is kinda "whatever" when i talk about it. sometimes he will ask questions, but like any kid, his mind will go else where and start talking abut something totally different. I asked if he wanted to help pick out something for the baby that can be from him. and he sometimes comes to me asking me about the baby. and says mommy ur gonna have two babies...:) <3 love my kid
    mommyoftristan

    Comment by mommyoftristan (original poster) at 7:04 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Does he have any dolls that you can help him model loving behavior with? Make sure you spend enough quality time with him and give him praise when he does things right. Plus have him be your helper when the baby comes whether it is handing you a diaper, singing to the baby, etc. He will need lots of attention when the baby comes home. One of the best pieces of advice I got was to make it about the older children for the first couple of weeks when you come home.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:05 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • and GL!!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:06 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Thank you!! we have till April before she gets here. :)
    mommyoftristan

    Comment by mommyoftristan (original poster) at 7:07 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Prepare him well. Start now, letting him know that he will be 'the big brother' and you might need him to help you sometimes. Have him help now with small chores (if he doesn't already) and praise his performance. He can bring you lotion, or help you open and stack packages of diapers with you. Let him decide things like: Which of these two stuffed animals should go in the baby's room first?

    Also, let him know that there will be times when the baby is crying and the noise bothers him; but the baby can't help it because she won't be able to talk and tell us what she needs for a long time. Ask what he thinks he should do if the crying bothers him, and help him come up with an acceptable solution BEFORE this, and other, predictable issues are at hand.

    Good luck. :-)
    ss_mom

    Answer by ss_mom at 10:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Almost forgot:

    Have a few gifts ready for him on the day of your baby shower. Don't want him to feel left out or jealous. :-)
    ss_mom

    Answer by ss_mom at 10:52 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • my son is 5 and my dd is 6 weeks, he feeds her, plays with her, and tries to help change her. he picks out her outfits for the day before he goes to school. he'll need to adjust, to not as much attention, but i think he'll be fine. i highly doubt little kids are just mean to little ones b/c theyre young. its your responsibilty to teach the right way to do thing. my son has issues that have nothing to do with baby. hes mean and angry and a little tirant most of the time, but he loves his sister.
    and by the way, the gifts for him at the baby shower, if you have one, is a great idea!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 10:56 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

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