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What can I do to be happy after putting my baby up for adoption?

Depression after going through such a life changing experience and losing alomost everything. I have hit rock bottom. The most amazing guy doesnt want to be tide down but I am so in love with him, put my baby up for adoption and my family wants nothing to do with me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (10)
  • What is your reason for putting the baby up adoption. If it was because you could not provide then I commend your decision, but don't make it about the guy. Dont give up your baby because he doesn't want it sounds like you family would support you in keeping it. Maybe you should speak to someone and discuss your options and what is best for you. good luck
    Jenlos

    Answer by Jenlos at 2:42 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Huggers to you for giving the baby life! So many don't! Be proud that you have done the right thing, to bring someone who is ready to have a wee one to care and love the joys of being a mom and or dad...your giving a real blessing to them. I pray that you will feel joy for what you have giving. God Bless You.
    Joyo4

    Answer by Joyo4 at 2:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Amazing guy? Psh!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • First of all I am so sorry for your loss. There is a grieving process that needs to be worked through before you can accept your loss and move on. There are many groups here on CM for women who've experienced what you're going through. Just search under the groups tabs, keyword birth mothers.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I am so sorry. In my own life, when hope seems lost and I cannot find my way...I cry out to God. He has never let me down! I have had a personal relationship with him for sixteen years now, and cannot imagine where I would be otherwise. Feel free to send me a PM if you'd like. I can at least offer a listening ear and love.
    joy2bamom

    Answer by joy2bamom at 6:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I agree that you should seek others like yourself, birthmoms, who can listen & understand what you are going through. It really does help to talk to people who have been through it. People who have not lost a child to adoption can try to empathize with you but in reality they do not understand the hurt. Its not about finding a way to be happy with out your child but trying to cope day by day and heal a little at a time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I really hope that the reason you choose adoption was NOT because of this "amazing" guy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • whats so amazing about this sob? you are now a package deal... if he does not want to be tied down it time to show him the door... as for your parents well thats thier issue
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • How can you find happiness? First, believe it is possible. Give yourself the credit you deserve. You have made one of the biggest sacrifices one can make, for whatever the reason, you gave life not only to a child but also to a couple that probibly felt they had no life. Now do what is good for you. Life is filled with more choices. Choose Happiness! Chose to be what you want to be, just for you. Go for it and don't give up. Then look for that love of your life that can love the real you, happy and complete. Life is hard but, God is Good!
    campbell5075

    Answer by campbell5075 at 10:24 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish you weren't, as a fellow mother who lost her child to adoption. It is sooo hard for me to get through the days and it's been almost 2 years for me. My surrender of my child has made me lose touch with most everyone in my life and has ruined an engagement as well. The thing that has helped me the most are the birth mother groups here on cafemom. I don't have support groups in my area, so the women I have "met" here are wonderful and can get me through even the darkest day. PM me if you'd like the names of the groups I belong to. Major hugs. You will make it. Just take it 1 day at a time. I've been mad at God since the adoption...so I can't help in that aspect. I just think that nothing helps like another person who has gone through the same thing. You're in my prayers.
    orangeorbie

    Answer by orangeorbie at 10:27 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

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