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3 Bumps

i just want to cry

I just found out that I am pregnant again and just recently had a miscarriage. Told my husband and he said he was happy I was pregnant and was acting totally fine. All of a sudden today he is accusing me of INTENTIONALLY getting pregnant again :( I didn't at all try to get myself pregnant again. We were using a spermacide and condoms! He then went on to accuse me of intentionally conceiving our youngest daughter who is now 17 months old. I don't understand where all this is coming from. I love my husband and repected that he didn't want to have another baby right now or even before I got pregnant with our second child. I can't help that I got pregnant. I feel like someone whether its his family or our friends that have said this. I keep getting brushed off when I try to talk to someone about it. Does everyone think I did this on purpose?! What do I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • im so sorry that your going through this...he could be lashing out bc his emotions are out of whack but that doesnt excuse him for doing that...if your using a condom then u cant be getting pregnant on couldnt of done anything to the condom bc it was still in the wrapper...i know how it feels to be accused of getting pg on purpose bc my husbands ex gf went around town telling everybody that bc she wanted him back...Ppl can be so stupid...Im sorry ur husband is doing this to you its not right especially since your pg and ur hormones are all over the place and u need to be supported and taken care of..your fragile and he needs to understand that and knock it off... if you want somebody to talk to... send me a friend a great listner

    Answer by opalmama04 at 1:04 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • e sounds like his emotions are just outta wack right now it may be due to the miscarriage give it a couple months maybe even a couple weeks and i think it will boil over .congrats on the pregnacy sorry for your loss and i hope everything works out with this one .keep your head up and everything happens for a reason .

    Answer by britme1027 at 9:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • No one knows if you done it intentionally.

    Personally, I think some women do to get out of things....such as working, but only because I know one.

    Hope everything works out.

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 9:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You know what? I understand that HIS emotions may be out of whack. And not to discount them, but YOUR are, too. And your hormones, too. And to add to that, you are pregnant again. Now he wants to behave like a brat, and say hurtful things. Now is the time for him to put his feelings aside, and be there for you. If he is using a condom, and he's putting the damn thing on, how are you being sneaky and getting pregnant on purpose? He's not being reasonable here.
    Write him a letter, since he's not listening to you when you try to talk with him. I'm sorry you are going through this, I wish I could say more, something to make you feel better.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • If he would be so upset at having another baby that he would get mad at you then he needs to either not have sex with you or go get fixed. You didn't get yourself pregnant, I hate when men say this, the only way you can "trick" a man into getting you preg is if you say you are takingthe pill and you are not but even then, the pill is not 99% effective or saying that you are fixed when you are not. Your dh should be ashamed of himself!

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:54 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I am sorry you are going through this with dh. I would say to my dh "how do you figure that?" and "what do you think I should do?" not that you are going to do what he suggests. He may be overwhelmed. Best bet is to see what he really thinks and let him know what you are feeling. You didn`t get in this situation by yourself. gl little mama. :)

    Answer by Autumn07 at 10:19 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Men just get scared and lash out. Try not to listen to his rantings. Just concentrate on the pregnancy

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • that sounds really mean & unfair of him to say something like that to his wife. & whats up with the initial reaction of being happy..& then suddenly switching it up? that is really strange. how is your relationship with his family? my only suggestion would be counseling, that way someone else could help u make him realize thats a ludicris idea that he has, & help get out into the open what is really behind his bizzare reactions.

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 12:52 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I hope he realizes that he is stressing you out!! He is responsible for his own dick, and the sooner SOME men realize that the better off theyll be. UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

    Answer by san126 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I would be so mad if my DF said that to me.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:19 PM on Jan. 12, 2011