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The baby blues ?

I think I have the baby blues.... It has been decided for a long while that we are not having any more kids... I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son, and in reality I do believe we are done. Financially, physically, emotionaly - we can't have any more...

I have been fine with this, and I think it is because I thought of all the things I didnt want to do anymore ( the pregnancy sickness, the dr visits, the pain, the worry of another, the up all nights, the extra money, less space to go around, etc) ...... Even if I could get past that I doubt I could get pregnant anyways because right now I am labled infertile ( so if we wanted we would have to do fertility treatments) ...

BUT for the last months I have been feeling a sadness, because I miss having a baby, that I almost urge for a baby again ... I am getting to the point to where the up all nights and the morning sickness doesnt seem that bad ... we are currently looking for a new home and I am seriously considering scratching off the 3 bedrooms and only looking for a 4 bedroom ...

When I see baby things ( like cribs, clothing, etc) I have to keep myself from crying ...

What is wrong with me

Will this pass ?

Have you felt like this ?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (9)
  • My dd is 4 and I have been like that since she was 2. Me and my fiance' decided to wait till we are married (she is not his, though he treats her like she is). Try to see if you can babysit for someone. or maybe get a puppy?
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I do babysit ( for a 1 year old and 2 year old) and we have 2 puppies ! lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Just the thought of it being "over" is so sad...for me. I'm pretending it's not over (having kids)but it is.
    babiesandkids

    Answer by babiesandkids at 10:45 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • yes, I think that is why I cry - because I know it is something that isnt going to happen
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • its not unusual. i have had times like that even though i know i dont want to deal with all that goes along with actually having another. but yet i still avoid getting my tubes tied-and know at the same time, that i'd be devestated if i ended up pregnant again right now. i know that dosent make sense either. but it probably is associated with accepting the fact that you are being told that you might not be able to have children anymore. i dont think you should be too sad or guilty about the feeling your having. it probably will pass. i have moments of wanting another -but it passes, when i see how financially strapped we are, when my 3 yr old is being a pest, etc..& even if it persists-theres always the fertility treaments, or even adoption. i say time is the answer. time will tell .if your feelings dont change in the long run, then you are meant to be a mom again-when you are really ready & able to take the necessary steps.go
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 11:00 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • oh hell, my dd is 6 weeks old and i already want to be pregnant again! shes getting bigger and i know she will be too big too "baby" very quickly. i got the shot so my hubby wouldn't get fixed, so i still have hope! if u want a baby, have one, or adopt!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 12:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I don't want to be a downer, but I had 3 CHD I love all of them to death. I had to wait 14 yrs to finally get pregnant w/the 2nd and another 5yrs for the 3rd. I went to a fertility Dr for the 2nd and had a miscarriage and then waited another 4 yrs. But the downer is my 3rd CHD was killed at age 20. So all I can say to maybe help cheer you up is, hold the 2 babies you have very close tonight, give them both a great big kiss and then watch them grown and enjoy all you can in their childhood. You have many beautiful things in different ages to look forward to, don't look at what you had in the past and want that. I look at my past everyday, my DD and I can't have her, cherish what you have NOW and then hopefully one day you will be able to have a past to look back on that is a good one. You need to cherish what you have and not cry over what you want!! GOD has a plan and we never know what or why it is.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 1:22 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Everything happens for a reason. maybe down the road ur plans will change. for now just devote yourself to your family and just think when u walk by the baby section anywhere... that maybe one day u two might change your mind. but for now ur content... just keep repeating that to yourself.
    MommaSammie

    Answer by MommaSammie at 3:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I have 5 children. I knew I was sooo done with the last one. BUT it was still a hard decision to make when it came time to sign the release for my tubal. It is in a womans nature to have and want children. My SIL also has 5, and she cried after her tubal. It will pass, but no matter how few or many you have, some women just have trouble coming to terms with the finality of it all.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:25 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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