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7 year olds and lies....

so I am at a loss... my daughter has been lying about EVERYTHING and I am at a loss at what to do. We have taken away activities, toys, told her she couldnt start the piano class at school until she stopped the lies but nothing is getting to her!
HELP!

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Mrs.Mixon

Asked by Mrs.Mixon at 8:56 AM on Jan. 12, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • lucky for you this is a phase,,, mine did that too, buckle down, it will go away soon!
    gardenchic

    Answer by gardenchic at 8:57 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I had the same issue with my DD. Eventually we started questioning everything she said. We checked up on her, and made it obvious that we didn't trust her (making sure she knew why). It took about 3 months, eventually she figured out that lying was causing her more grief than just telling the truth.

    Good luck, I know that's so very frustrating!
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:57 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • You have to show her how the lies are hurting not only her now but how they can make her not believed later.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:58 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • With my kids I have to be firm but not give a lot of negative attention. Don't react like she's punched you in the face, she might be looking for attention. I take away privileges and don't inform my daughter until she goes to do something... for example, she will go to turn on the tv and I will say, oh no - you can't watch TV right now. And she will be out raged and ask WHY? and I will say that she chose to trade my trust for a lie. I will further explain that I can't trust her to watch the shows she's aloud to watch because she has a history of lying, and I don't have to recourses to sit and watch her right now. I tell her that she can start earning my trust back any time by being open and honest and that as she does so she will get her privileges back. No emotion, no fighting, just matter of fact. She tells me how unfair I am and how upset she is but I remind her that she's the one who lied and thus she's punishing herself.
    ashleyaction

    Answer by ashleyaction at 9:04 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • At 7 years old children still haven't fully developed in the part of their brain that understands truth/lies or imaginary/reality in every situation. That development is complete between 8 and 10 years old. One thing that might help is just to make a game of it. Riding in the car you could say things like "My shirt is blue" and your shirt might be pink. Let your daughter tell you if that is right or wrong and if it was wrong, have her tell you the "truth." This helped my 5-year-old be honest more often. She's 6 1/2 now and still sometimes has trouble mixing up her imagination with reality, but it's gotten much better.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:32 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • oh she gets that she is lying...she knows what the truth is and isnt...thats not the issue
    Mrs.Mixon

    Comment by Mrs.Mixon (original poster) at 9:30 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

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