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How can I fix this?

My bf asked me how I was feeling last night and I spewed all over him for over an hour. I dont know why. I cried and said I dont want to wait to get married, dont need a big wedding. I was very emotional and I said I felt like I was worthless as just a gf. I want to be his wife. We have already talked about getting married, its just a matter of needed more money. I told him I dont need a big ring or dress that I want a marriage not a wedding and I think I hurt him. He didnt say much but looked so sad. How can I make him feel better? Im very happy with him and I dont know why I was so upset. People keep asking when we r gonna get married and I was looking at wedding stuff online. I was just way too emotional.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My sister didn't exactly have the big wedding and dress she envisioned but she is a happy clam; was then and is now. Two kids later, great hubby, she has what she wanted. She mentioned while trying on wedding dresses it wasn't all she dreamed it was going to be, but it somehow fit the situation. They wanted to get married, they had a beautiful wedding and the most amazing location and food to boot! Some things weren't what she thought she would do or have, but it didn't matter in the end.

    Just talk to him and tell him where you're coming from and make some decisions and compromises together.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:38 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • He may be upset if you have talked about wanting a wedding, and now he thinks he has to all of a sudden fork up the cash for it, and he can't. He's freaked, and upset. He may feel inadequate. One thing to consider, if you just go to the JP, then you guys can always renew your vows with a beautiful ceremony later. Though, lots of people never do. But, you need to talk with him. You can do what we did, go to the JP, and spend the money on a nice reception afterward. But, it really is the marriage, the people, NOT the wedding. My sisters had nice church weddings. Their marriages failed miserably. Mine, well, we were NOT the ones that were supposed to make it. As we were told.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:29 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I know two women that have said/done exactly what you did to your BF - decided they just couldn't wait anymore and went ahead with a "quickie" wedding. The weddings were planned quickly, things didn't go as they wanted them to - their wedding days were not happy events for them. One of the women is now divorced, the other has said many times she regrets not waiting and having the wedding she truly wanted.

    I'm not saying that these situations will happen to you - but there is no harm in waiting. If you are committed to your BF and he to you, getting married in a year or two isn't a bad things at all.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:59 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Forgot to add - just tell your BF why you reacted that way to him. :)

    Answer by Scuba at 10:00 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I dont mind waiting, I want to finish college and stuff. But I just dont want to wait several yrs. I have a 4 yr old and we want another child after we get married and i dont want 10 yrs between my kids.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • IDK. I never wanted a big wedding. I was just never that girl that dreamed of a wedding. I never planned one in my head. I didn't have one either time. The first time I got married, we eloped and I told my parents 2 days later. Didn't go well. Marriage didn't either.
    The second time, we went to the JP. Our parents were there, his brothers were there, and my sister and her family were, too. We had a little reception at my parents house after, his parents gave us $200, and we went on a little honeymoon.
    We planned on getting married the next year, actually. But he got orders for Bosnia. So, we looked at each other one day and said 'lets get married next Wed.'. Boy, that put everyone on HIGH ALERT! His dad was still active duty, and had to put in for a pass. His mom had to take off of work and his brothers missed a day of school. WE were the ONLY calm ones that day.
    It's the marriage that's important, not the wedding. Cont

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • My first wedding was big, My second and current one was Our church our kids our parents my grandparents and our siblings, I got a beautiful promdress from JC penny off white pulled off as wedding dress. We dated for like 6 years we put this together in two weeks and it worked. All that mattered was marrying the man I loved. Maybe because we both had been married, we did not have the money and just wanted to get married but it is worth it and if I had to do it I would do it again and spend money on a home or other much needed things.
    It depends on what you really want.

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 12:24 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • thanks for all the advice

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:40 PM on Jan. 12, 2011