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Staying at home with your kid(s)

I am a SAHM to my 3yr old and am finding myself really bored and unmotivated today. I feel like I need socialness...but..I really have no "Real" friends...I wish I could find a friend who is also a SAHM & isn't always working or doing school...someone who is in my same situation. Is that impossible though? I don't drive so that makes it worse. Stuck to the house pretty much. My 3yr old is pretty self entertained & the house is quiet..aside from music. I want to stay home to raise my boy & future kids but who knows when they will come.. :/ I feel like im getting bored though...Like I need to have more kids to be a SAHM ....Does anyone know what I mean or feel that way yourself? I need to figure out what to do with myself lol. I have hobbies.. and I do preschool with my son everyday...The weather isn't great at all so sticking inside is driving me bonkers. Any tips how to come out of this downness? Or anyone feel like I do? lol..I just need someone to talk to me and give me encouragement or something.... Thanks ladies.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jan. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Storytime at the library? A mommy and me class? MOPS? (Mothers of Preschoolers). Go to the park and talk to other parents. Walk around a mall. Chuck E Cheese?

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:56 AM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I am a SAHM and also don't drive, so I know exactly how you feel. All of my kids in school now. I am babysitting twin girls to occupy my time though.

    Answer by arenad at 12:00 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Not having transportation is going to make it almost impossible to make friends, and thats true of not just a SAHM but ANYONE. You need to find a way to get out and meet other moms. I am a SAHM and have real life friends I hang out with. I met them through after school sports, PTA, at the park, and things like that. Once I had a couple moms I knew then having them over or going places with them was no big deal. You just have to go somewhere, even the library and find other moms with similar interests.
    Having been a SAHm most of the last 22 yrs I get bored sometimes too. I have found as I have gotten older not having anything to do is fun. I have also learned paying attention to all the small things your child does is great. I remember just have one at home and now I wish for that time back so I could appreciate all the little things she did.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Mothers day out programs at your local churches is a wonderful way to meet other moms with children the same ages as yours. Make some phone calls and see what days are available. Since you don't drive, you may have to be a bit more creative--maybe inquire as to moms who come who might live close enough to you that they could pick you up and bring you home. There could even be a community type program available that provides transportation. Let your fingers do the walking and start talking to some folks to see what is available to you. I bet there's more than you ever dreamed.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:03 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Do you not drive because you don't have a car, or because you just don't drive? I didn't have a car for my son's first 3 years and right after I had his brother DH got a new job and a company car. I went from being in your situation... just wanting ONE friend, to now running a group of about 100 moms, having 5 or so really good mom friends plus 10-15 others we see on a regular basis.

    If you really can't drive anywhere... see if you can find a playgroup and offer to host playdates either in your home, or at a closeby park. It breaks the ice and you get to know people... we have moms that pick up non-driving moms whenever they need it. We have one mom who come by public transportation from about 45 minutes away!

    Check on in your area. It really make all the difference in getting out of the slump.

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • When I first stayed home I was going crazy myself. I looked into play groups at local churches and prak and rec department. Once i went to a couple of those I met other moms that stayed home and had the same ideas that I did. With out transportation it must be hard, although is there a bus close to you. I know a few moms who took the bus to play groups and made friends that way. Once they made friends their friends would pick them up for play group or go over their houses for play dates.

    I know winter time is hard so just try and hang in there.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:14 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I know how you feel. Our plan at first was to only have one and for me to go back to work when he went to school. Then right before he turned two we decided to have one more. It was over a year before we got to have her so I've got one going to start school this fall and one that will have just turned two years. We live in a very small town that is not terribly concerned with community events, and there are no activities to take the kids to. I try not to drive much to save on gas. I'm taking a college class online and *knock on wood* should be finished soon and able to work. We're in the middle of a cold snap so going outside is out of the question. My advice would be to try to find a hobby or if you have a communtiy college look into classes. I will say that if you're not very happy at home with one, two won't make it better. Not a judgement, just a personal observation.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I'm in the same situation, i chose to stay at home with our 3 children 4 yrs, 2 yrs and 10 1/2 months old while my husband is the manager at a local store. We only have one car and he drives it to work so for 8-9 hours a day i'm at home bored with 3 kids and i dont really have any friends either. Its better in the summer time the kids can play outside but the winter is awful we havent been outside or left the house in 2 weeks :(

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 12:31 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I met most of my sahm friends at church. We try to get together at least once a month, even if it is just walking around the mall when the weather is bad. I also watch children in my home, every day but Tuesday. This definitely keeps me more motivated. When it was just my kids it was easy to sit around and not get to as much housework as I wanted and such. Now I have to keep on top of things, plus I am doing lesson plans, bulletin boards, lunch menus. It keeps me busy and besides nap time I don't have much time to just sit.

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I'm in the same situation. We do have transportation, but right now, we live so far away from everything that it's next to impossible to actually go anywhere and spend a good amount of time there. And then if we go somewhere nearby, it's hit or miss on whether or not someone else will be there. And there aren't any kids my son's age nearby either. The nice thing is, we're moving in about two weeks, and we'll be within walking distance of the library and a playground. As it is right now, we have to drive more than 10 miles to the nearest playground.

    I think my main issue is timing. If I could get that worked out, things would be great, or at least better. Maybe things will be easier once we move and get settled. Maybe then, I can actually meet some people.

    Answer by makelineerror at 1:36 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

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