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Feeling like I am distancing myself from my own kids, need some advice.

Lately things seem to have been going a muck in my life. I lost a grandmother, like most I am broke, I am tired, and I have come to some realizations about family members as of late. I see how my mom is a very selfish person, I see how complacent and unemotional my father is, I see that a lot relatives had their own agendas on a lot of things and I basically feel that if I were to pack up and move across the country my family would not even notice or care and would not help me if I needed it. It floors me in comparison to how I know their parents helped them, and my inlaws are an entire other beast. The annoy the crap outta me. Well I have found that in my funk of realizations as of late that I am tuning out my kids more and more and almost distancing myself at times. Has anyone else found themselves doing this or why do you think I might be doing this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It sounds like you are in a dark place right now. You need to re-think your life. Your relationship with your family especially. Make changes that will be healthier for you. Take a breather, once you have figured things in your head, you can get back in touch with your kids. Time keeps on marching so let your relationship with them evolve too, they're older, find new ways of spending time and connecting with them. Hang on, this too shall pass!!!

    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • You need downtime! Time to YOURSELF!
    You cannot give everything away and not refill yourself, you burn out! And start resenting everyone and tuning out, even the ones you love. Figure out a way to get some free time, no kids, no hubby nothing. Pick a evening, his night to do it all, and get out of the house. Go have coffee at g/f's. Go to a bookstore.( you can sit and read a magazine, people watch, listen to music, you do not have to read!) A movie. Any place!
    Once a week or once every two weeks, it will do WONDERS for you! PROMISE!
    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 3:58 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Yes, I've done it. I've even yelled at my kids to go somewhere and leave me alone. Do or did I mean to do this, NO. Have I gotten frustrated and it just came out, YES. Do i feel bad, YES. But it's true that we as moms need down time for us to refocus and "get it together". Because if we're not together, how can we expect ourselves to be better able to deal with our children or expect them to be together.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:18 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Yes, and you are the only one who can change it. If there is something wrong in your life - find a way to fix it. YOU are the only one who can change the bad things in your life. If you need someone to help you change things - TELL THEM. They'll never know unless you tell them.
    Fawn80

    Answer by Fawn80 at 4:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • You sound like your sad, exhausted, and could use a real friend. What's wrong? Perhaps depression is this general "funk" your in. As far as coping with your funk - exercise (even if it is just walking), eating healthy, go get a physical by your doctor and tell him what is going on, and possibly consider seeing a counselor. Or if not a counselor talk to a really good friend regualarly and often. With your chldren - Fake it until you make it happen. Actively plan activites like walks, or games, or other things they enjoy. Even if you don't feel it, put on a smile, try to listen and be there, and try to find some enjoyment. At least just one good thing each activity. Those activities are also good exercise for you. Get out, see friends, or make new friends..
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

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