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2 Bumps

What do i do

my husband is upset with me that i wont have sex... heres the thing i want to be able to have sex with him to show him my love and to show him im still attracted but the reasons i wanna have sex are all for him. I honestly dont want the sex. Im not "in the mood" at all ever. I have no drive? what do i do? how do i build the drive back up lol

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Have a checkup and make sure there isn't some problem. Ask your doctor for help and don't let him brush you off. There are prescription creams,etc that can help. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 2:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Try to spice things up a little role play, toys, movies, Talk to your doctor about it, you can get it back just have to put more effort into it

    Answer by Marie_07 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • You should think about the fact that love is more about giving than it is about receiving, and this is something that your husband needs from you. And the wonder of it all is that if you will stop thinking about what you want and your mood and start thinking about his mood and what he needs from you, you will most likely find that your drive will increase phenomenally. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your reasons be all for him. It truly is in giving that we receive.


    Answer by NannyB. at 2:09 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • The key is finding out why you have lost your drive to begin with.

    It could be any number of reasons.. here are some pretty common reasons why women lose their drive: stress, emotional disconnect, resentments that have not been addressed or rectified, hurt feelings that have not been rectified, marital discord, feeling too busy all the time, feeling pushed and pulled in their roles as wife & mother, hormone fluxes....and many others.

    In order to get back your drive. You must address why you have lost it. For most women, the desire to have sex starts in the brain. Most women need mental sexual stimulation, and emotional sexual stimulation in order to get physically stimulated/have the physical desire to have sex.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:27 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • The more you do it the more you'll want it. Try masturbating frequently and see what happens.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Its not that i dont ever have sex. its just that i dont ever want to. I do it for him but its hard to enjoy something like that when ur not doing it for yourself. I wanna be able to enjoy sex not just do it because he wants it. I feel like a bad wife, but i do what i can for him

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:29 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Okay... I have a question with your additional info.

    Why do you not enjoy sex? Or, maybe a better question would be.. What about your sex life do you not enjoy?

    Since sex/sexuality for most women is mental & emotional.. If they are not enjoying sex, they do not want to have sex. If a woman does not experience pleasurable sex ( in which she orgasms frequently) she will lose her desire for sex. The hormones/chemicals that are released during sexual arousal and orgasm actually induce the desire to have sex.. The more enjoyable sex is, the more we want to have. It's actually part of our sexual chemical make up.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:32 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

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