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Need some advice on my 14 month old infant and his behavioral problems!!!!

My sons father and I were together for two years. When Ylon was born it was a little over a year we were together. Everything just got worse as time progressed. The spark in our relationship was gone from my side. I did not think it was fair to stay with him for the baby. I wanted to wait until after the holidays but I met somebody. I told my babies father everything. Then on Christmas he just leaves and we have not seen him since. Now my son is throwing these huge tantrums and has to be attached to my hip no matter what. He is just so miserable. He is acting out by throwing things, hitting, kicking, pinching, and slapping. I try to correct him but nothing seems to work. He will also no longer lay in his own bed anymore. If he does its a miracle at that but I have to be by his bedside or he screams his head off (not even crying, just screaming.) I don't know what to do with him. I need it to stop. I can't even walk to the other side of the room without him flipping out. HELP!!!!!!!!!

Answer Question
 
jas2009

Asked by jas2009 at 5:43 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Kids' Health

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • His dad leaving was emotionally damaging to him obviously. You are going to have to contact his father and explain what is going on and get visits going. Even after that it will continue until your son adjusts to the new situation. You have to be patient with him. He is a baby.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • His whole world was turned upside down. He is angry that his father left and he is terrified you will leave too. Be firm, but be patient. Reassure him constantly that you won't go away. Tell him his father still loves him. I hope his father will continue to be a part of his life. The poor little guy is scared and frustrated.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 5:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • He just doesn't want you to leave too. He feels abandoned by his father. I am sorry. I hope things get better soon for both of you.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 5:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I know I'm gonna get voted down for this but I'd give him a swat on the butt.
    nowmommyof2

    Answer by nowmommyof2 at 5:47 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • he is probably afraid you will leave too. i mean 14 is a young baby that can not really verbalize his emotions yet so he acts out. i would set up visiations as soon as possible to work something out. like gemgem said. the adjustment may day a while but he will eventually adjust. good luck
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 5:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • His dad has not paid child support on either of his kids. He already knows his son is like this but still won't come back. He will not even tell me where he is or who he is with. His son has to have surgery soon to get tubes in his ears and he has yet to even call to check on him to see how he is feeling. I do reassure him constantly. It just breaks my heart that all he says is dad and his dad is not there for him.
    jas2009

    Comment by jas2009 (original poster) at 5:49 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I'm sorry
    nowmommyof2

    Answer by nowmommyof2 at 5:51 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • He has very few ways of expressing himself. Patience and loving is so important right now. Run this by his pedatrician for advice too. Or pick up a couple of books at the library on divorce, separarton, etc.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:49 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • DO NOT spank him. He is a BABY that has had his world turned upside down and he needs time and patience so he can adjust to it. Have lots of patience with him. He needs lots of love and patience, not punishment and spanking. Get a routine down and stick to it, he needs structure, reassurance and patience and love.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

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