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Anyone have some advice on filing a parenting plan?? adult content

I have two wonderful boys, and they have the same father. When my first was born he was around for about 4 months before he found trouble and ended up in prison. He was in for a year. When he got out, we tried againl. Me being a young single mother and very nieve I took him back. He was out for about 6 months just long enough for us to concieve my second child. When I saw him headed back down a bad path. My son and I packed up and moved in with my mother. We stayed there for three weeks untill I found another apartment. So during this time I had a full time job and paying for the apartment my X took over, and was paying for my new apartment as well. As soon as I got in to my new apartment I talked to my old landlord and closed out that one. Well then he went of the deep end. Banging on my windows threatin to kill my cat. To take our only son at that time, and teach me a lesson. About three months went by and he got arrested again. He has been in prison ever since. So about three years now. Well he is due to be out soon, and I am scared to death that he is going to come back and start doing the same thing again. I need to file a parenting plan, but em having issues on how to go about it. And am also scared that they will grant him any type of visitation. What should I do? I know I need to protect them, but I can't even imagine letting him talk them on the weekends or even having a suppervised visits.

Does anyone have a similar store that can eass my mind?? I don't personal know anyone it this type of situation. Please let me know what you went through and how you coped.

Thanks everyone. I am new here, and still trying to get the hang of this site. Thanks again.


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Asked by Summary at 5:58 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It depends on your state. In Montana, whoever files the parenting plan first gets full custody of the child until full arrangements are made. They can put a stipulation in there for supervised visitation only if there have ever been any threats of taking the children. Here there is also a group, Montana Legal Services Association, that will provide low-median income families with legal advice and walk them through the process. The first step is to write up the preliminaty parenting plan the way YOU want it to be and have it filed with the courts. Then he is served with a copy, has 30 days to respond and file his proposed one, and then it goes on and on and back and forth from there. Once again, it depends on the state, but that should give you full custody until the court approves a final parenting plan

    Answer by other_mother at 6:03 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I wish I could edit my answer. That should read until final arrangements are made.

    Answer by other_mother at 6:04 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Join the custody group. There are some very knowledgeable women there.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:04 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Wow. Thats a hard situation. I would say document ALL of the incidents that happened. Document everything. If you havent done that go back and do so now. Estimate dates if you don't know exact dates. (as time goes by the mind forgets some things). That way when you go to court you will have everything written down. Do you have any witnesses to any of the incendents? If so you need to list them as well. I would NOT allow my children to ever go with someone like that- whether or not they were a bio-father. I don't see a court granting normal visitation know that information. However they very well could grant supervised visitation. In that Case you can always request to also be presnt along with the "supervisor" who was hadling the visitations. Can you get a protection order to keep him away? Seek Legal Cousel. like with legal aide (free or cheeper). Good luck. Blessed Be

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 6:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I'm in a bad situation myself with my ex... I'd say go to your local family court, they have many resources to help you out, including legal assistance. Also, go to yourlocal library, see if you can find any resources there that might help you. I am currently reading "Your right to child custody, visitation and support " by Mary L. Boland. This book is full of legal resources, advice, laws and ready to go forms, parenting plans samples. It's easy to understand too. You can look at the book here, I might have it in digital form too. This is the link to the book, a really good book to read
    Also get as many appointments with attorneys who offer free legal consultations, get the opinions of as many lawyesr as possible.
    Good luck to you!

    Answer by NataliaWalle at 6:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Well, depending what he went to jail for, you could prob ask for limited supervised visits, especially since he has been in jail twice.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • You need to find a pro-bono attorney that can help you and hopefully you called the cops when he come banging on your window if you did get a police report it will help you and any other police reports and you need to file a restraining order if you can under the reason that he will be getting out soon and you are fearful of your life. I have not been through the same but my X is mentally sick and threatened to take my son away so I did not get my restraining order but it was sill all on record. When it comes to your kids if they have to see them then ask for supervised visitation it will help a lot.I hope this helps you and the best of luck to ya

    Answer by VegasCaliMom at 8:33 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Thank you all so much for your advice... It is a scarey situation but every little thing about this topic helps me alot. And thank you for your best wishes as well

    Comment by Summary (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Something else you may want to find out is as long as he is in prison, he has lost all rights. you may need to verify that with the court. If this is the truth, you better get custody as soon as possible. But I do know, in most states, who ever files first,gets first say. Oh, and if he has family that you are talking to, don't tell them what you are doing. Does he know where you live? Get a PO Box. don't use it. Have it for him. I say don't use it because he can follow you. Does he know where your family lives? Maybe you should have someone move in with you or move where even your family doesn't know until the case is settled. You may need to move to another state and not let anyone know for awhile. to protect you and your family. If he knows about friends, say away from them until he gets himself arrested, which he will. Once you get custody, you will need to go into hiding for a season. See next box!

    Answer by WalknWithGod at 10:33 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I know. I went through it. He tried to kill me. I had to move three states away for a year. only my dad knew where I was. When I tired leaving him b4, he always found me. He knew where everyone lived &he followed me home! The last time a woman heard him say he was going to kill me & called the cops. He was killing me when the police broke in. They saved my life. They didn't have the laws they do now. Anyway, trust your instincs. If you have to go undergound for a season, better that than you loosing your life or the life of your children. Its been happening a lot. We just had another one two weeks ago. A man stabbed his wife, then locked himself in the bedroom when the police arrived. the police decided to bust open the door when the man killed the baby and himself. I'm not trying to scare you. But you need to know a paper won't stop his temper! he's already been in jail & has nothing to loose! iF you need help, contact me.

    Answer by WalknWithGod at 10:43 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

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