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3 Bumps

My 13 year old DD tries to play me...

She straight out apologized for being bratty yesterday. Only to say she does not have an idea as to what pages she needs to study for history.
What does she do in school?
I tried calling her teacher, but they leave at a certain time, so I could not find out the pages.
Now she found her pages and is studying because I was calling her teacher. She does not know I could not contact the teacher.
Please any Mom's of teens... What do you do when your child constantly tries to finagle their way out of their responsibilities?


Asked by idaspida at 5:59 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (8,744 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You have to just stick you your guns and not back down. If it means she flat out tells you she hates you, so be it. You were not put here to be her friend. Eventually if you keep being strong she will stop all this bs because she knows it wont get her anywhere. BTW... most teachers now a days do email. Next time try and email rather than a phone call.

    Answer by sahlady at 6:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Keep at it. It is a long road. Hope you are up to it.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • What's wrong with the word finagle? I use it all the time...

    Be one step ahead of her, manipulate her before she manipulates you...LOL, sounds like you already have the upper hand now that she thinks you called her teacher.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:04 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • fi·na·gle/fəˈnāgəl/Verb
    1. Obtain (something) by devious or dishonest means.
    2. Act in a devious or dishonest manner: "they finagled over the fine points"

    It's a real word, anon. What are you LOL'ing about?

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:05 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • at 13 she testing you if she lies to you
    i bet this is not first time she done this to you
    when they look other way or at the ground she's lieing
    because don't want to look straight in eye to tell the truth is hard but then they some thing to tell their friends at school how they pulled fast one on mom
    just remember how it was when you where 13 yrs you where pain in the ass i guess we all where ,but at 13yrs they are not all there half of there brain thinking of boys and other half think of nothing lol
    but true you say some thing to them and hits the wall bounces off the wall and the dog jumps lol
    and word air head comes to mind yup good sign she has it how it will last
    till she leaves home or when she gets married all you can do is lol because she will pass this down to her girls oh boys have same thing but their brain thinks of food and play video games

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 6:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • You need to contact the school and find out what mechanisms they have in place to notify parents of homework assignments. Most schools have teacher web pages or a homework hotline to call. There should be no question about her homework assignments. Kids this age are naturally dishonest and manipulative. It is part of their development. You just have to be on top of them more.

    Answer by Marwill at 6:14 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • to the mother that has kids that play her,frist you have to be strick with them,tell them their are rules in the take away one favorite thing they like at a time,and have times outs too. both parents have to agry,that way she dont play favorite.start like 3 days at a time,even if it going her grand parents house,or friends have to make it with all location.if they dont follow the rules,then we change it to grown up see how they like them.that what i did with my 17 old daughter,and she didnt like it at all.she went back to tell us whats on her mind,or bothering her have to talk to your kids everyday and let them know you care and love them everyday you be surprise what a few words can change their world,try it, youll be surprise. negetive energy create negetive energy.and viseversa.

    Answer by iforgotit at 6:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Yes finagle...
    She lied to get her trip to the art exhibit today as pormised to her, but she tried to scip out on her studies.

    Comment by idaspida (original poster) at 6:04 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • well for this one situation, get a planner - they are on sale now and make her keep track ... take away the phone/comp/tv whatever if she doesnt come home with the right stuff written down. tell her u will be calling to ask if her homework is up to date. generally speaking - dont trust her for now.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 6:17 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Regarding homework.............. we had our son sign in his notebook what the homework assignment was or the words "no homework" and then the teachers signed it. That way I could monitor everyday what was expected. It worked great for him. Just an idea........

    Answer by elizabr at 6:36 PM on Jan. 12, 2011