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3 Bumps

just a little help

how do i make my husband understand that he too took part in creating our children so it shouldnt just be me that takes on the responsibilty of taking care of them. i dont get time to myself. i dont get to have free time i only get a shower at night if im lucky. i cant get my husband to change a diaper or to make a bottle. Im on the verge of giving up but i honestly dont believe in divorce but thats how i feel that it might be coming to. nothing is an eye opener to him. and nothing hurts me more then the fact that he doesnt give a sh** about our childrent because if he did care i wouldnt have to ask him to "babysit" and of course get a no for an answer. Tell me am i just complaining, is married (with children) life suppose to be like this? or am i right to be hurt and upset?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (11)
  • Sometimes I fell like that also...but When i ask my Dh to change a diaper or feed the baby or whatever it's not because I'm soley looking for a break it's also because thats great bonding time and they need that.... But it sounds like your husband might be going a little overboard I would try to have a serious talk and not the....'I'm tired talk I need help' but more of a 'hey your children need you too'. Gl
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 6:12 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • No its not suppossed to be like that. Honestly, I can't tell you what to do, only you can decide that, but you should know that you and your lil one deserve better than that.
    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 6:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Just need to ask. You have more than one child. Why? Didn't you see the light after the first?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:14 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Ive tried that and nothing seems to tug at him. I know what hes risking not doing the small things for his children. he isnt bonded with them at all. and that saddens me so much. but still hes made no effort to change.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:16 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • andi was patient hoping things would change... I guess now im just all out of patience and tired of being so foolish. I have 2 boys both of which need him or a father anyway just no so sure i can be patient anymore while they suffer waiting for the father that they need.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I have had the unpleasant experience of having to raise my husband and I's son alone while my husband was gone. When here, my husband is an amazing father and I can't picture him telling me no to something my son really needs. I have of course had to go long periods of time without him, and when he came home, my son hardly knew him and it was hard for my husband to see that. Some men don't understand that they are so lucky to get to spend everyday with their child and take that for granted. If he was away from his kids for months, I bet things would really change..and it's so sad it has to be that for something to change.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 6:25 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I would sit down and tell him how you feel. Maybe he will see that he needs to step up if you tell him you feel like you might as well be single.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:45 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • trying to talk about this only drags out confrentation. which is the last thing I want and want my kids to be exposed to. My husband has a short fuse and anything sets him off. so when i say id like for him to spend more time with his kids by doing this or that he thinks im saying hes a deadbeat. i wont come out and say that but quite honestly and i may be being a little harsh but he isnt acting any better then a deadbeat
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • idk, dh and i discussed how he had a sahm and i had a sah dad so with our kids we were both working and both responsible for childcare. idk how to back track though. did he want to have kids or did it just happen? my dh really really wanted kids!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:16 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Maybe you should make some family time together. How old are your kids? He can take them to supper one night and let you have a little time alone. The parent responsibility should be 50/50.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:05 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

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