Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Does your child talk back to you? How do you discipline?

My child is 3, almost 4 and has a problem backtalking. I do not not how to discipline him effectively because it does not work. I have tried taking toys away, time-out, sending him to his room, nothing works. How do you discipline your kids, and is it effective?

Answer Question
 
IsaiahsMommy3

Asked by IsaiahsMommy3 at 8:54 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (181 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • i give him a warning (ie. drop the attitude) and if he still keeps it up then i send him to time out and tell him he can come out when he's cheered up. if he comes out still with the attitude i send him to bed. it is highly effective.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:57 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I have found that taking away priviledges makes the most impact. No Wii for a day, put the DS up on top of the fridge, Bigfoot's remote goes up on the fridge, etc. Time outs are a joke for this one. He does his 4 minutes then goes right back to talking smack. And his room isn't even punishment. He just plays and reads books when he goes in there and we don't actually WANT him to feel like his room is a place of punishment but a place where he can go play quietly, read, relax, etc.

    Another thing that works for our little guy (who just turned 4, by the way) is positive reinforcement. For example, he's had trouble sleeping in his own bed. We got him a calendar and each morning if he fell asleep in his bed the night before and woke up there in the morning, he gets a sticker! He knows when he gets 30 stickers in a row, he gets to go to Chuck E Cheese's. So far, he's slept in there every night this month. (cont)
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 9:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • The first time, I get down to eye level and explain that I am the boss and that talking like that will not be allowed and then I explain what will happen if she does it again.
    If she does it again, she gets a time out. She has spent most of a day in time out. I don't care if she doesn't get to play...playing is a priveledge not a right. so is sitting on chairs, so is socializing... My rule my home...she can ge good for 2 minutes after a time out and if she acts up again, she goes right back into the time out.
    It doesn't hurt my feelings and I still go about my day doing the things that need done while she is in time out.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • In my house we had a 3 strikes and your out system. If they did something they weren't suppose to I would give them a warning, if they did it again I would remind them not to and say this is the consequence if you do that again. If they did a third time I would just do whatever I said I was going to do with no warning. Usually in my house it was getting a marble taken away. We had a reward system were if you behaved & did the things asked of you, you could earn marbles. I would give them one marble to put in their jar & when they didn't listen I would take one away. After "X" amount of marbles they would get a special treat such as going out for ice cream or making their special dinner. I also believe in follow through and not making ideal threats, so if you say you are going to do something it better be something you really are going to do. At this age they are pushing the limits to see what they can get away with
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:05 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Sometimes he wakes up once or twice throughout the night and comes into our room but we just walk him back in there and tuck him in and he falls back asleep. Anyway, maybe you could get a calendar and say "If you can go one week without backtalking, you can have a Hot Wheels car. When you get 6 cars, you can pick out a new book." or whatever works for him. Make sure you give him a warning and say "What you're saying is backtalk. Do you want to think about what you're saying first before you say it?"

    My friend had a son who used to whine all the time and this worked for her: She told him that her ears can't hear whining. When he'd start to whine, she'd say, "I'm sorry, I see your mouth moving but I don't hear anything. You must be whining. Please use your regular voice so I can hear what you're saying." By then he'd either forget what he was saying or speak normally. This took a lot of patience, though! Good luck!
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 9:06 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • I love everyones answers, thank you. The calendar idea is great. I just started doing this and it seems to work, I printed the calendars out from the Chuck E Cheese website. I am going to stick to using these calendars and see if it continues to work.
    IsaiahsMommy3

    Comment by IsaiahsMommy3 (original poster) at 9:10 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • o.k. I know this is not the "popular" answer but I was told by a counselor it is o.k. to do. I put a little bit of hot sauce on my finger and put it on his tongue. Wait about 5 seconds and let him rinse his mouth. It is working for us.
    sandbuster

    Answer by sandbuster at 9:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Good luck, sweetie! I know it's tough and takes patience but you can do it!
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 9:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • They don`t backtalk me, usually.. I have told them that is disrespectful to me or any other person they do it to. My dd who is 8 is having a hard time thinking about what she says before she says it. It will take some time but I think I can do it..
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 9:19 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • My kids have privelidges taken away from them, my son looses his video games(ds, wii and computer), dd used to loose her dresses, she would wear them every day if she could! My youngest get's time outs.
    I did one time have a very long talk with my son about him being so disrespectful to me. He didn't seem to care. We were in the car on the way to his hockey game. I turned the car around and told him that I no longer wish to do anything for a disrespectful little boy. I told him that I would not be taking him to hockey, making his lunch for school or taking him to the bus, I would no longer make him dinner, snuggle with him or let him sleep in my bed if he woke up with a nightmare(he has them often!!). I told him we were heading home and I would pack up all of his things, toys, video games, clothes and so on. It was a bit extreem but it worked. He still talks back but not like before and a warning is all he needs now.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.