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Any advice on how to help my 21 month old deal with bringing home #2?!

I'm 7 months pregnant with our 2nd son and I'm worried as to how my, will be 21 month old, son will deal with it. He is a total mama's boy so this is where my concerns come from. My husband has a very demanding job but tries to help as much as possible (he's really great when he's home), and he says he's going to try to do a lot more with our first born when #2 comes home to help take away any jealousy towards the new baby. So any advice will be great!

 
amygoetsch

Asked by amygoetsch at 11:50 PM on Jan. 12, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • We didn't do a whole lot different I lust let my son know throughout my pregnancy that he was going to have a new brother soon and when the baby came he came up to the hospital with my mom and he got to see the baby right away. Another thing we did was we bought his a baby doll and told him this is your baby, you take care of your baby while mommy takes care of this one, that seemed to help....I also let him touch and see the baby and I let him 'help' me, like getting diapers and stuff and that seemed to work fine.
    KnitWit0686

    Answer by KnitWit0686 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Mine were just shy of 20 months. From the time I was really visibly pregnant on (7 months or so) I would refer to the baby as "our baby." We have to go buy diapers for our baby, etc… When I nursed the baby I would snuggle with DS and read to him. He did go through some jealousy, when DD was around 4 months. It was probably a combination of his realizing that she wasn't going away and both of them getting sick with colds and nasty ear infections. they are now 11 & turning 13 in a month. They are best friends and worst enemies. If someone were to cross one of them, the other would be on that person like stink on a cat box (especially DD who is tougher than her brothers combined.)
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:02 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • involve him as much as possible, let him be the big brother and help get diapers and feed the new baby,,
    kyiahsmommy

    Answer by kyiahsmommy at 12:45 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • go ahead and feed him while reading a book or watching a special short movie with your oldest. Then go spend that time with your first so he knows you are still there for him and even though there is a new baby, he isn't being replaced.
    bluelady27

    Answer by bluelady27 at 12:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • This will fall on you. First born will want MOM! So, try to be inclusive when dealing with the baby and try not to say "no" all the time. He'll be jealous, no question. Try to spend special time with him and explain that it's just time with the two of you. Watch him like a hawk though because older sibs can be a serious danger to a newborn. Mine are 18 months apart and we never left them alone together. Now they are the best buddies.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:53 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • My boys are seventeen months apart. I was alone all the time and whenever Dad was home he was always playing video games and not apart of the family so it was hard for me doing it by myself. I noticed the biggest mistake I made was bed time. If baby was hungry, I'd just put oldest one in the bed because I couldn't juggle them both. He is now 22 months old now and we live with my mom (we now have a separation going to divorce) and my older son still has abandonment issues at night because of how I handled the situation when he was younger. My advice is to always spend more time with the oldest. If they are both crying and you know nothing is really wrong with the infant, he's just fussing, comfort the older one first because he will remember this. He needs to know you still care for him and he is your baby. Try to work around your oldest's schedule the best you can and if baby is hungry at bedtime, cont....
    bluelady27

    Answer by bluelady27 at 11:59 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

  • Thanks ladies for the great advice. Since I started showing we also started calling him "our" baby and my son is really great around other babies, ie my nephews, who are all younger then him. I'm hoping he'll adjust well, I guess we'll find out in a few short months :)
    amygoetsch

    Comment by amygoetsch (original poster) at 3:48 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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