Okay, my understanding its NOT a mid life crisis, but LIKE one...but anyone else dealing with trials. I'm clinging to hope. My support just wants him out of my life...ha for support. I need support...or someone going or has been through this with a spouse. I'm starting to want to give up and leave if it means I'm no longer feeling dangled, but I'm still madly in love with the shmuck.
Anyone else out there with positive stories to share or experience on how to pull through this? Anyone? -tear-
I know it's corny, but if you haven't already read it, try reading the 5 Love Languages. It really helped me understand my DH and helped him understand that I had been expressing my love for him, just not how he wanted me to. Once we understood each other fully things improved pretty quickly. Not that this will happen for you, but it might help a little and a little is at least something
Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 11:37 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 11:34 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 12:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 12:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
It sounds like this is still fresh. I have been through it and I am sorry you are going through it. My first suggestion would be to slow things down. I know when they throw this at you all you feel is sting and you hear nothing but noise in your head. All you want to do is to make it stop and fix it now. This won't happen like that. Don't make any rash decisions. Take a deep breath and realize that things didn't deteriorate overnight, they won't be fixed overnight either.
Second, if he really 'wants to want it to work out', he needs to STOP COMMUNICATION with this other person. Immediately. Your relationship consists of two people and two people ONLY. You cannot repair damage with her hanging over your head.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
In therapy, we were told that this sort of thing can be tipped off by many things in life. Like the death of a parent, or personal health issues where you are dealing with your own mortality. Also job changes or difficulties can make a huge wave. The first thing we were asked to do is to explain to the therapist what made us fall in love with the other. This was very effective in reminding us of what we loved about the other. Things that over time you forget because there is everyday life to deal with. She reminded us that a marriage is much like another child. You must nurture it to make it grow. When we have kids, we tend to put our children first and end up neglecting to nurture our marriages. We only had a few sessions before we realized how much we had to lose in each other and that neither one of us were willing to just give it up. I can only hope for the same for you. (((hugs)))
Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 12:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2011
Answer by pixie_trix at 11:52 AM on Jan. 13, 2011
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