Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Does anyone know?*UPDATE*

Nevermind....I spoke to a social worker who told me there is nothing I can do until the child is born and there are signs of neglect...then it has to be taken to court. It is insane how a woman can lose all rights to her child and then have another and no one can do a damn thing about it! There is one thing left to try and I'm sure it will get my no where. Her boyfriend is wanted in the state of michigan...unfortunately in NY they can pick someone up who has a warrent but if the other state doesn't want to pay to transfer them then it's let go so here's hoping they decide he's worth paying for....once he's gone she'll be away from him and might be easier to get her some help.

 

My younger sister...who is 20 now is pregnant again, aprox 7 weeks. She has a 3 almost 4 year old in April who she almost never sees. She's been moved away with her boyfriend who is abusive, wanted by the law in a different state and a druggie...who has no job and never has since they started dating last January...which is when she moved away to live iwth him and his father. My mother has custody of my niece and between her and I is how she is cared for. I work nights and mom works days so we switch off. Before then it was between her and I also because my sister wouldn't do much of anything...the girl can't even bathe herself let alone a child. I hate to admit I'm even related to this girl. The court has told her she'll never get custody back unless she holds down a job, her own place to live with no one moving in or out for a whole year....she has only worked a couple months and lost the job a couple months ago. So what I am getting at here is there anything that can be done to at least make her get parenting classes before this poor baby is born? I'm in New York State which is probably helpful knowledge. I don't know where I would find this out, I tried googling it. This man she is with has 0 patience, my sister got a car and while she was visiting her daughter and my mothers house her bf got mad at it and strangled it til he thought it was dead, dropped it, when it moved it pissed him off and then threw it at a glass window breaking its leg. They returned it to the SPCA saying they didn't know what happened.....and then bought a puppy shortly afterwards and I hear he beats the dog. There has got to be something I can do....what do ya'll think is going to happen if the baby is colic? My sister chooses this man over her child every day, she has the option to come back and be a mom but just wont....she LOVES him, ugh I'm rambling now....I just hate this whole situation. And to top it off I can't have more kids and so badly want another yet she can just reproduce...this is her 2nd pregnancy in the past year and a half...she lost the last one. Alright...thanks for taking the time to read this...

Answer Question
 
DaniMarie6

Asked by DaniMarie6 at 9:09 AM on Jan. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (174 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You need to contact an attorney about this. You should also contact the court , inform them she's pregnant, and that she's endangering her unborn child using drugs, etc. I would first speak to an attorney, they can point you in the right direction.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:15 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I honestly have no idea what you can and should do but I'd seek legal advice from the CPS office or friend of the court depending on how it works out by you. Have you tried asking your niece's case worker what her professional opinion is? I mostly just wanted to offer support. I am very sorry and you seem to be very selfless. Good for you! I hope that things get better for your sister and your family. I think it would be best if she could come to be a good mother... somehow. I know it sounds far fetched but maybe you could consider trying to get HER some help???
    ashleyaction

    Answer by ashleyaction at 9:16 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thanks everyone...I'm going to call the social services right now and see what they say. I've asked her many times to get help, to just see a therapist. She needs a self esteem boost, she's a pretty girl yet she stays with this horrible man and just doesn't take care of herself. She just stole a ton of jewelry from my mothers house with her boyfriend and when confronted about it she returned some of it and denies taking the rest...but it just so happened to come up missing too? My mother can't find receipts so its look like it's going to be dropped in court. She was just here yesterday to see her daughter...she's very ill so my mother paid for her meds for morning sickness that the doc prescribed her and then mom checks her stuff today and she's short 40 bucks, her bennefit card which has money on it for being a grandmother with custody of her grandchild is gone plus her bankcard, i called and helped her cancel the ...
    DaniMarie6

    Comment by DaniMarie6 (original poster) at 9:23 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • bennefit card and she's at the bank now canceling her bank card. It's just insane. In my opinion its not worth having her come around the little bit that she does....my mother is a fool for this. It's just going to hurt everyone and especially my niece. I held her for 2 hours yesterday after her mother left because she was so distraught. Something has to get done and I'm going to start really pushing for it.
    DaniMarie6

    Comment by DaniMarie6 (original poster) at 9:26 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • ughh i wouldnt even know how to go about a situation like this. your sister is pretty stupid for wanting to stay with him. I dont think that she even really lvoes this guy she just likes the concept of of love. and as far as the pregnancy goes this sounds horrible but if she doesnt wanna leave him then i hope her body rejects the pregnancy better that then getting a call in the middle of the night after he's born and hearing he's been killed, i had a friend whose husband kicked their 2yr old so hard in the stomache that her intestines were ripped open. and some other organs were literally damaged. she fortunately survived but had to endure 4 or 5 very invasive painful surgeries. ur sister knows what she needs to do its just a matter of doing it. she knows what at risk. its just a matter of caring more about her and her baby then him. i really hope and pray that you do find something out some good news that can be done
    MommaSammie

    Answer by MommaSammie at 11:36 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Yes....its all very frustrating. The police now can't do anything....turns out Michigan wont pay to have him transfered or whatever. There's really nothing now that I can do. I know a couple guys though who would love to "meet" him lol....I might just let them. I hate violence but sheeeesh....
    DaniMarie6

    Comment by DaniMarie6 (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • If they say she is to unfit tpo take care of her daughter they will proubly take this child to .
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 12:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • The social worker I spoke to says that there has to be signs of neglect and then go through court and have it proven. I was also told by someone that if the situation looks crappy while she's still in the hospital they wont let her take the baby so here's hoping her boyfriend picks a fight with her and my mother or I get a phone call about the baby. I would love it if my sister would grow up and do what she is supposed to do but I know this is a long ways away. She's 20 but in all honesty acts like a 13 year old, and she lacks common sense. She's learning disabled and she's used that as an excuse long enough....there are so many resources available to her. I just wish she would see a therapist.
    DaniMarie6

    Comment by DaniMarie6 (original poster) at 2:53 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.