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How to handle older son bullying younger daughter?

I have a 6 year old son and a 4 year old daughter, who is extremely sensitive. They play together fairly nicely half the time but my 6 yr old likes to boss the other around, tell her she is wrong, make her feel stupid (ex. "you dont know anything, what's 1+1. Its 2 see you didn't even know."), make her the bad guy (she made me do it, she made me lose). It has taken a toll on her and it makes me so sad. She has difficulty with other kids. The teachers say she has a few close friends but I have him in karate and there are kids she can play with and she will not. She will sit with me the whole time, I try to interact with the other kids to show her its ok, but she reacts negatively towards them. She will crunch up her nose and get a mean little look and stay that way until they back off. She is skeptical of adults and kids alike. On a field trip a little girl said they should have a sleep over and later my girl said "i thought you didn't like me" to the other girl:(
I give her positive compliments throughout the day to try and raise her confidence but that just seems to make her more demanding towards me. I've tried to make him see how it makes her feel, he used to make fun of her writings and drawings so I got out all his pre-school work and had him compare their work from the same age and he has backed off in that area and actually compliments her work occasionally. I've punished with timeouts and spanking (esp. the name calling, their favorites stupid and poopie). It's a never ending battle. He plays nicely with his friends but they will not. I don't have the patience to make them spend the entire day in time out, that's what it would take to correct their behavior (this is just one issue). I'm just at my wits end here.

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Rae-Rae05

Asked by Rae-Rae05 at 10:44 AM on Jan. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • No you are not at no wit's end!!!! That is just an excuse to not do what you need to do. Stay on your son and explain to him that families stick together and he is a boy and should be taking up for and caring/watching out for his little sister. Bring out the protective male side of him or better yet, is there a positive male role model for the kid? He has some insecurity problems himself and this is why he is picking on his sister so much. He needs to be in a team building sport like football or basketball not an individual one like karate. That is just my opinion and I do not have a boy but I do have two daughters and the older one picks at the younger one. It is nerve racking but you have to continue to show them correction with love. Don't get tired of spanking/whipping cause parents too scared to whip a kid today and that is why the kids think they are the boss instead of the parents. YOU BE the Momma!!!
    bamachild88

    Answer by bamachild88 at 10:51 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thanks for the encouragement! Yes he had his dad around, but he works long hours. We put him in karate because he was having trouble focusing in school and was told karate helped with that, and it has, he has been getting compliments from his teacher about staying on task. Smart boy just hard to hold his attention with school work.
    Rae-Rae05

    Comment by Rae-Rae05 (original poster) at 11:02 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • How are you spanking him and do they change his behavior at all?
    Iamasinglemom99

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 5:08 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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