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What to do about my sister encouraging her 6 year old to bully my 8 month old?

We were having a family get-together at my parents home this past weekend and my sister told her 6 year old son "Do you want to see him cry? Stare at him!" about my 8 month old baby. We live far away from all of the family and our baby rarely sees a lot of people in one place, and hence is quite shy. My sister's 6 year old dropped to his knees an inch away from our baby's face and stared into his face before we could do anything about it. My shy baby started to cry, and my sister told her son "Good job!" and laughed. We didn't want to cause a family argument so we let it go, but now I don't want my sister or her 3 kids anywhere near my baby. The problem? My sister is in the middle of a divorce and is living with my parents, who we are very close to and used to visit often. Now we feel it is not safe to visit there. My sister is very self-centered and would consider anything we said to defend our baby as a personal attack.

Answer Question
 
Robbiesmommy83

Asked by Robbiesmommy83 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 12 (765 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Just invite your parents to your house or out to eat or ask them to join you at some children's play center (so you guys can visit and the 6yo can play while you do) rather than visiting with them at their house. Make it clear (um, politely, of course) she's not invited.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would let her know how you felt, and your parents. Then if she doesn't stop your parents may have to come to your house for visits.
    marshsmom

    Answer by marshsmom at 11:02 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would have told my sister to grow the hell up and keep her brat away from my baby. But then again, I am a bitch and don't put up with stupid crap like that. I don't bite my tongue for the sake of family peace. Your peace of mind and your child's well-being come first. Not your immature bratty sister and her feelings.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 11:04 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • i agree with marshsmom.

    and i would never leave your baby at your parents house while your sister or the kids are there (like if you needed a babysitter).
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 11:07 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Well, it comes down to two things: Protecting her feelings or protecting your child.
    As someone said, don't go there; invite your parents to your place. Let them know what's going on.

    Personally, I would have been in her face about it. Then again, when it comes to someone like that bothering my sons or husband, this ol' dog tends to bite.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 11:15 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • my sister is the same way. she too lives with our parents. she has a 3yr old who is as sour as they come. she slammed my sons fingers in a bedroom door. pushed him dog poop and takes his toys candy and sippy cups away as well as screaming at him. my son is 2 and he is slow. he has a form of autism. so for her to do this and my sister to just chuckle about it and tell her what a good girl she is just makes me wanna smack them both, i recently confrented my sister about it. told her what she was doing and how she was raising her daughter was horrible. bad parenting on her end. of course she fired back something totally outta line but i then said she had no idea what she was doing to her daughter and she would grow up being on of those mean kids that no one wants to be around and also informed her that no one else in our family wants their kids around her either. and left it at that.
    MommaSammie

    Answer by MommaSammie at 11:17 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • The only thing you can do is avoid her at all costs. Don't call her, don't go over there...don't see her at all.
    Invite your parents to come to your house.
    And be honest with your parents about why you aren't going over anymore. And if they try and talk you into it, just say something like "we will not be coming over there as long as she is there. You are welcome to come over to our house and see your grandkids."
    My SO and I have had to deal with a similar situation, which resulted in us not going to his parents house christmas day at all (we always have), and his mom was upset with us. But we explained to her why, and although she just wanted us to get over it, we. Stood our ground. And yes, while they may blame YOU for causing problems, just stick to your guns. Don't go over there. If you do, it won't turn out pretty.. At least it wouldn't if we went to my inlaws with certain people there.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:20 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I'd tell your sister AND your parents flat out, that your sister and her kid are not allowed around your baby until they can act like they have some sense. If her widdle feewings get hurt, OH WELL!! She's a big girl, she can take it.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 11:22 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Your sister needs to grow up! What the hell was that? I would have made her cry!!! lol. Your baby comes first, if she gets her feelings hurt too damn bad. Plus she is teaching her son that its ok to bully younger children, Have your folks over to your place and leave nutie sis back at their house
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thank you all for your suggestions :) I would love to invite my parents over here instead of going there, and will probaby do that some of the time. However, all of my siblings live close to my parents and their house has always been the family "meeting place" due to my dad's poor health. Some of the time, just to be included in the rest of the family, we are going to have to go there. My sister has a lot of problems, but that doesn't excuse her behavior. She has been married 8 years to a mentally ill ( bi-polar schizophrenic ) man and both of their neglect in parenting has caused her 6 year old, autistic 5 year old, and 3 year old to be the most unbearable brats you can imagine. My husband and I have a beautiful 8 month old baby boy and another baby on the way in August, a wonderful marriage, and are working towards saving for a home while living in a modest apatment. I think my sister has some serious jealousy problems.
    Robbiesmommy83

    Comment by Robbiesmommy83 (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jan. 13, 2011

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