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when do you know its over??

my hubby says that he wants a divorce and hes miserable with me im devistated i love this man so much and i really thought things were good i mean he woke up yesterday and made us pancakes and coffee and then we ran some errands and came home and played video games together it was great and then this morning he tells me this im so confused and lost what do i do????i find it so hard to belive that he really feels this way he looks at me like he always has tells me im the most beautiful woman and he loves me sooo much im really having a hard time with this!!!!

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Asked by hedtrippe at 6:14 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I hate to say this but do you know if he is cheating? A few years ago my bf broke up with me out of no where and I thought things were going well. Come to find out he was cheating on me and just couldn't take it anymore. Were still together now though and I'm sure he hasn't done it since.
    You never know when it's really over, especially for good. Maybe you should talk to him about why he feels this way. Suggest to him if you guys could try to go to marriage counsling. I hope everything works out for you two, it's said to see people divorce.

    Answer by Lizzie32390 at 6:25 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • i dont think hes cheating he never has on anyone before i really hope he doesnt start with me and i told him we need counsleing and he agreed but we havent gone yet

    Answer by hedtrippe at 6:33 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I just checked out your profile.. Do you think it is a Military thing? They go through a period of being "lost" when they get out or about to get out. My hubby did it when we first got married and he got out of the Air force then again just recently when he retired from the Florida Air National Guard/Active Duty Air force.

    Answer by aimige at 6:39 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • i guess it could be a military thing i kinda hope so

    Answer by hedtrippe at 7:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Nobody just says out of the blue that they want out of a sounds like he is cheating on you...even though he has never cheated on anyone before doesn't mean he isn't doing it now...its hard for men to express themselves and when they do take it to heart...most men cheat and keep it a secret because they really don't want to lose the women in their life they just want some side action but when they say they don't want to be with you anymore believe what he says...good luck and god bless..

    Answer by tall_mom42 at 7:17 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I would def. try to sit down and talk to him to find out what is going on. Why is he unhappy and what is bothering him. It does sound like he is cheating but it's not for me to say, I don't know him. You do. Give him some time and space. I'm sure you are upset, so give yourself time to calm down before trying to talk to him.

    Answer by nfutter at 7:24 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • .ok so he might be cheating his phone is off he never turns it off im totally upset now i wish i had my car

    Answer by hedtrippe at 7:27 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Listen,
    YOU do not know IF he is cheating okay

    So take a deep breath seriously hon, your just making yourself upset for things you dont even know and couldnt even be happening,

    Alot of women jump to this and say YEAH he is cheating,
    BUT , could honestly be just him...and his dealing with life in general,
    I would ask and let him explain on how he wants to do this divorce and why he wants it,

    Ask him plain and simple did you find someone new, ?

    Try and be Civil in this time, and heck if he doesnt want you, dont kiss his butt,
    you can always find new

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 7:34 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I would not automatically assume he is cheating unless you have been suspious of this before now or if you have proof. Even the worst relationships have good days where both spouses get along and everything goes great. I am coming from the other side of the issue where I love my husband but I do not want to be married to him anymore but I stay because I do not want to lose the friendship that we have. We are great friends and we get along great but I have not been in love with him for along time and we are a terrible couple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • If it makes you feel any better, everytime I post a relationship question most answer I get are "He might be cheating..". I could post a question saying something like "My husband wants to go on vacation but I don't think we can afford it" and someone would tell me it's probably because he is cheating. So like pp said don't make yourself feel bad for nothing. Yes men cheat but that does not mean yours is. Talk to him first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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