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2 Bumps

I think I've fallen out of love

I've been with my SO on and off for about about four years and been married for one year. Throughout our time together he's been cheating. Mostley sexting then he stopped and actually formed a relationship with a woman back in august 2010 and had a sexual relationship. He had a car accident in September and lost his car. This may sound heartless but that was the best news to me because I felt it was karma. He left me and his daughter for ass. Now he doesn't cheat anymore. He more of a father and a husband now but I can't get over it. I don't trust him anymore. I try to talk to him about it but it never comes out the way it should come out. I don't know if I fallen out of love because I don't like to kiss,cuddle,hug or even have sex with him. I use to LOVE doing those! Lol but I think it's over and I don't know how to tell him...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think you know what's truly in your heart. I've fallen out of love with my dh too, but I haven't told him. It's hard to love someone you can't trust. Do you think counseling might help?
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 1:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • He made his choice to hurt you and now you are making a choice to not open your hear back up to him. If you want to make it work seek counseling to find a way to make the choice to let him back in. If you don't want that then tell him and move on with your life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Maybe you feel that way because of what he did to you. And that's understandable. Perhaps his change in not cheating has come a little to late. Sometimes in a relationship, once something is broken, it can't be repaired. Talk to your s/o about how you're feeling..find out how he is feeling to see if you want to continue your relationship.
    virgo550

    Answer by virgo550 at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • To be honest I don't think counseling will work because he is who he is. We're both young adults and I say once a cheater always a cheater. It's a pattern I allowed to happen when I should've just said f*ck you and go my seperate way.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • You need to think about your lives together. Positive and negative. Then you have to decide if you wanna give it one more go. If you do want to, you have to make a conscious effort to open up to him. There has to be a huge effort on his part too. He's gotta acknowledge your feelings and what he did.

    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 2:30 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck to you.
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 3:18 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • If you feel this way you really should just leave. Why do you want to stay in such misery??? Do you want your child to feel this misery because she will, and than she will just grow up and fall for the same type of guy. I am sure you dont want that for her.
    Trust is probably the most important thing in a relationship if you dont have trust you dont have much.
    I am sorry to be harsh but I have been there and I hate to see girls mistreated by jerks!!!! And trust me it wont stop, just because the car is gone now you have a sence of control over him what happens when he gets it back???
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 7:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I felt the same way, I finally got the courage and plowed through the fears of 'what-if''s' in the future and realized I can do this. I filed, had him move out and our divorce will be final next week. I'm so much happier because I don't have him here berating our son, me, being miserable and I can be myself and not have to feel I can't trust or respect him anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • i'm in the same situation except my husband and i both cheated..and now we're in counseling trying to work through it but i am just not sexually attracted to him anymore...all i can say is just make sure you've tried everything...i really reccommend trying counseling......and really thought that way you can honestly say your doing whats best for you instead of wondering what if, if you decide to jump ship.
    mommafugate

    Answer by mommafugate at 10:56 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

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