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4 Bumps

Is this bad?

Anyone else relate at all?

Do you find your DH is cute, but not necessarily the most attractive man in the world?

You love him dearly and think he's the best guy ever for you and love how warm his heart is and the kind of man he is, but in the looks department isn't as good as some others you've seen?

My eyes wander, I'll admit it and there are times I wished with that great person he is inside that he had a bit more of that eye-candy factor than he does.

Of course I never tell him that, but I can't help thinking it sometimes. He once told me people used to say his brother was the good-looking one...well I agree with them but I kept it to myself, but I will say he is the most mentally stable in his side of the family. I have a really good man, though.

I think my eyes wander partly for that reason tho. I didn't marry the best looking guy of the herd, but I did pick the best guy.

Just thinking aloud and putting my thoughts down. Thanks for reading and any input.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • Both my husband and I are what you'd have to call "criminally unattractive". We both know it, we got married based on a whole ton of other aspects of life, such as sense of humor, common interests, the ability to communicate well with one another, similar life goals and admiration for the other person's intellect. Never had one fight in 11 years of marriage. I don't think it's bad that you know that your husband isn't the most attractive dude on the planet, nor that you wouldn't mind if he did a little more to be more eye-candy-licious. Nobody's perfect, and it sounds as if you know that and are just following a train of thought here.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:01 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sorry, I can't relate. My Husband is THE sexiest Man in creation and other men just AREN'T attractive to me. Bumping for you.

    Answer by -AJ at 4:17 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Can't relate, sorry. I married the sexiest man on earth. Not to mention I love him to death which makes him sexier. Perhaps something else is lacking for you to feel that way.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:08 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Sorry unless you are married to someone like Johnny Depp then I think all of us here can look at our husbands and say well he isnt as sexy as Johnny Depp. We get married to our spouses not just because of their looks, but because they are good for us, bring out the best in us, and make us feel good in general about life. We share the same goals and want the same things. You can go look for a hot and sexy guy but that doesnt mean much if you dont have all the other stuff in there too.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • tsk tsk


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • My honest thoughts about what you just shared.

    Do I see men that I think are attractive/sexy.. Yep I do. However, none of them compare to my husband. Those that I see, are just looks. nothing more nothing less. My husband on the other hand is the **entire** package: Looks, intelligence, compassion, honor, dignified, and many other things.. All those things rolled up into one fabulous package.. All of that outweighs someone's good looks that I might notice in passing.

    If you truly believed you married the best guy, the best one in the herd. Then he would be the best looking man to you as well. A person's being, their attitude, their actions, how they carry themselves, treat people, how you feel about them/how you view them..etc.. All contribute to their attractiveness level.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:17 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • first of all i'm glad you have a good man but.... i don't really know you two but i hope you didn't marry him cause he is a 'good man'. meaning you have had or seen a few who weren't .and are settling in a way for one who isn't THAT cute but Will be a good man....i know we all like to look at beauty but we should think our guy is the sexiet to us. maybe there is a bigger issue. ie is your intimate life going good? well good luck and god bless you for being honest

    Answer by osidemom11 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Don't feel bad OP. I feel as you do. My fiance is wonderful in EVERY way but he has gained 70lbs since we've gotten together and it has changed how attractive he is. Sexyness comes from within and I find him very sexy...I just no longer look at him and find him AS attractive. I can't unbutton his pants now because his stomach hangs over the's hard to find that attractive, but I love him dearly and I'm not so superficial that i would leave him over that. He is is a wonderful man and we have something I try not to let it bother me.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • You can look just don't touch.Is my man the best looking in the world no, but there is no man out there that would take near as good of our family or love me half as much as he does. So in my book he is sexy as hell for that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • if you don't mind me old are you and your husband? Do you find yourself looking at younger men? Maybe you are just used to seeing him and you look at other men who you are attracted do that all of the time, but women probably do it just as much. I don't think having eye candy is wrong, it's everywhere.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2011