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9 Bumps

Found husband's pornography links... adult content

Yesterday on the house computer. I was not checking on him. Don't know how to confront him. We have been married 29+ years. I need answers from those of you ladies that have dealt with this. I've been on CM for several years, but this is not something at this point I feel comfortable sharing my name.
I know this has come to light because it needs to be dealt with. I need your help.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I'm sorry your dealing with this. I know we should trust our spouse, but yet some how when we find they have been betraying us (no matter what the situation) I consider hiding things from your spouse betrayal. It brings the relationship into a whole new light. We have to know we can trust our S.O. I would tell him point blank I found it, I would be straight up to the point about it. Just let him know. I'm sure he will be embarrassed and probably confrontational. Men don't like getting caught at anything. Just let him know that he has betrayed you by not being honest. I can honestly say the porn has nothing to do with you. The fact of the matter is, men are very physical and enjoy being a little taboo. I would be angry but I wouldn't be to harsh on him. Good Luck
    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 6:30 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Why don't you just say you found out that he has been viewing porn and take the convo from there. See what he has to say, respond accordingly. If porn has never been discussed before this should be the time to set your limits.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:03 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would just ask him..after being married for so long, it should be easier - in my opinion. I'm sorry to hear about that..big hugs.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 5:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • How to "deal" with it greatly depends on how you feel about it.

    It also depends on things like::

    Do the two of you have a mutually agreed upon standing agreement that viewing porn by either of you is not acceptable?

    Has he had problems with porn in the past?

    Is it affecting your relationship?

    Does he lie about his porn viewing?

    In order to deal with an issue, you first have to look at why it is an issue and then go from there.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • it's not a point of contention in every marriage so your advice here will be broad and diverse and probably dramatic. if it's important enough to you that he felt he had to hide it, then just out with it to him. communication is the only answer.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 5:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would just ask him. I don't see porn as a big deal, but obviously you do, he is your husband, just ask him what's up with the porn?
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 5:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • wow you better talk to him... doesn't he know you can get a virus on your computer do to porn... gees what is he thinking..
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 5:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would ask him ASAP!!
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 5:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Unless you two have had an agreement about not watching porn or its seriously affecting your relationship, I would let it go.
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 5:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I would talk to him but try not to be confronting about it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

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