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2 Bumps

Birthday for son, and mom feeling inadequate

Where to start? Next Saturday is my sons party. I am a typically shy person anyway, not much for throwing parties. But I have never felt this anxious and down about planning a kid's party, I was out getting party games and what not, and nearly broke down and cried in the middle of K Mart today.
I have been so down lately, I am afraid my mood will derail the whole thing. MY son is in a new school. He had a hard time adjusting, but has gone to two kids parties this year. Otherwise, we have not made friends yet. It is a tight knit bunch of families, the other kids have all been together since preschool. Me? I chose this school to get my kid back on track in a safe place, after a crummy divorce that involved the arrest of my ex for DV. I am the only single mom in the bunch. I suspect my simple home looks nothing like the other kid's homes. Adding to my feeling down, I went through a horrible holiday season with a painful arthritis flare up and then getting dropped by the guy I was dating just before new years.
Can anyone offer me few words of advice to pull myself back up and make a decent party for my kid?

Please don't suggest calling my doctor and getting antidepressants. The party is in one week and I don't want to be getting acclimated to a new medication. I just stopped taking one of my RH meds when my sister read the fine print and told me it could cause depression (yes I spoke to a pharmacist, who told me to use Ibuprofen instead)

Thanks for any suggestions

Answer Question

Asked by chicanueva at 8:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Awww momma............I am so sorry. Do not doubt yourself. Be proud! You took the steps you had to take in order to get you and your son in a safe place. This in itself whispers of the strong women you are. It sounds like for right now you may need to concentrate on you and your son. Get to the place that you need to be before trying to juggle a guy who for the most part come with there own form of baggage and you dont need that on your plate right now. As far as the birthday party........this is for your kiddo. Good luck with the party this weekend. I think you are going to do fine.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:59 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • You know what needs to be done down the road but here is what you can to to put on a good face and party. Take a benedryll or two before bed to ensure a good nights sleep. This is non addictive and has no side effects. Let your child help you plan. Then if things don't look to cohesive then you can tell the parents well that's what he wanted. Besides you will be focusing on your child, this day is for him. Though a child can fill you with worry and anxiety, there is no one in the world who can love you more. Let him light up your life and try to stay as positive as possible. Good luck.

    Answer by at 9:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I could have written this myself 7 yrs ago. Coming from dv and loosing so much in the process takes its toll on us. I commend you for throwing a party for your son, and inviting all these new folks into your life and home. As this is the beginning of your new safe life, it is also the beginning of new friendships for your son and for you. I have been with the same group of parents since my kids where in 5th and 3rd grade, when we moved here. My guys are now in high school, with the older one graduating this year. This is one of many functions in the millions of functions you will be involved in or going to over the years. What a great way to start! I know this party will be great, however it comes together. Just keep it simple, ask for simple party ideas from our gals here, and take on the day. You will be so glad you did this. PM me if you want to talk,,hugs

    Answer by beyondhopes at 9:03 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Do not compare yourself to other families. You did a very brave thing by leaving an abusive relationship and by attempting to give your son a better life by moving. Both of these are very challenging. It is absolutely normal to be overwhelmed, scared, and even sad. Your son will eventually (if he doesn't already) understand that you are doing everything you can to improve his life. I'm sure that there are other parents that will be willing to befriend you, but you have to be open to it. Just remind yourself often that what you are doing is for your son and if others aren't able to see that then they are not worth your worries. Stay strong!

    Answer by bugfin at 9:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thanks to everbody. I am so glad there's cafemom, where I can hear from sensible people when I feel like I'm losing it.. I am crying again as I reread my post, but it will pass. I guess it is just going to take me more time to put my life back together than I had thought, and there will be more down periods along the way. I just have to keep getting back up. But again , thanks. I am going to do just what ypu all said, put things together the way my son wants them and let him enjoy it. Last night, out of nowhere he told me he likes living here and he likes his school and wants to never leave. That was precious

    Comment by chicanueva (original poster) at 7:48 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

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