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If friends eloped in Vegas, would you send a gift after the fact?

I think I may have lost a friend cause I didnt do that. They eloped back in September and sent me a card in the mail telling me they eloped. But I didnt send anything, just messaged them congrats. Now what do I do? Its a long distance friend so we never see each other, but I dont want her to be mad at me, I didnt do it on purpose.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No. If I wasn't invited to the wedding I wouldn't send a gift.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I agree that no invite, no gift.
    If you feel like you should send a gift, maybe get a gift card and mail it in a Congratulations card.
    But, really, if she is going to be that hung up on not getting a gift that she'd allow it to put a cramp in your friendship, she isn't a very good friend to begin with.
    Don't let your guilty feelings put a cramp in it, either.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 9:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • By standard wedding etiquette rules you have up to one year to send a wedding gift to the happy couple. I think the friend is a little shallow to reject a friendship on the basis of a gift personally. However, if you want to leave things on the right foot, better late than never I say!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:54 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • And here is the standard etiqutte for gift giving when a couple has eloped. This might help:

    "t's not eloping if anyone knows about it besides the couple. To elope means to run away in secret to get married.
    What they are wanting to do is to go away themselves to get married, but if they do, that's their choice, and they have to accept the consequences of not having all the perks of a reception or gifts people would be given. "

    So there you go...no gift ; )
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Its one thing to recieve and invite to a wedding...its completely another to elope and then announce it. I don't think you are in the wrong at all. And if she's going to stop being your friend because you didn't send a gift, well then she was never a friend in the first place.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:12 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • No I wouldn't. If I'm not invited, I'm not sending a gift
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:21 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • You're not obligated to, but if a good friend I would. My ex-husband and I eloped and didn't expect a thing of course, but my sister and a few others gave us monetary gifts, which was super nice.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:23 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Maybe send a gift card to a restaurant or something small then say something in a card like "since we weren't able to send a wedding gift, we just wanted to send you this so you and your sweetie can have a night out!" .....if they weren't good friends I personally wouldn't worry about it though

    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 11:37 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • "It's not eloping if anyone knows about it besides the couple. To elope means to run away in secret to get married.
    What they are wanting to do is to go away themselves to get married, but if they do, that's their choice, and they have to accept the consequences of not having all the perks of a reception or gifts people would be given. "

    I agree! I also believe that if your friend is basing your friendship on whether or not you sent her a gift, she doesn't deserve to be your friend.
    Holly.

    Answer by Holly. at 2:55 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Maybe she's not mad, but has just been busy, try reaching out to her, I don't think not buying a gift is grounds for ending a friendship.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

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