Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My sister is going through a really hard time, please, no bashing update

This is an update on a situation I posted about a few days ago, if you didn't read it, this was the post:
Ok, so about a year ago and a half ago, my sister started dating a man who was sparated from him wife and was in the process of getting a divorce. Well they dated for almost a year and got engaged. He was still not divorced but the papers were in, currently, it is taking almost 2 years to get through a divorce cause the courts are so backed up. Anyway, shortly after getting engaged, she got pregnant. By the time she was 3 months pregnant, her fiance' had left her and went back to his wife. They dropped the papers and are now living together with their 2 children. Now, my sister understands that he and his wife will be part of the child's life. She doesn't like it because the woman calls her a whore but they were planning on gettin married once his divorce was final. The problem is, she is weeks away from her due date and he called saying that both he AND HIS WIFE want to be in the delivery room!!!!!!!! In the hospital she is going to, you only get 2 people in the room so that would mean that for them to watch, she would not even have 1 support person. She told him it was out of the question, saying it is a total invasion of her privacy. She plans on me and our mother being there. I feel like since he left her, he doesn't have the right to be a support person in the delivery room. Also, they are angry because like I said the family court in our area is so backed up so they will have to wait until there is a birth certificate and social securety numer issued to the baby until they can file (prob when the baby is 3 months). Even then, it will take 6 months to a year to see a judge. So the baby could be as old as 15 months by the time he get visitation HOWEVER, once she is out of the hospital she can go to child support enforcement and she will get child support ordered within 60 days. I'll admit that this is unfair to him but on the other hand there has been so much unfairness for her it does kinda even things out. She says that she will let him visit the baby in her home until visitation is ordered. I told her I feel that she has every right to chose who will be in the room. I also think that she is in her right to get child support for her child, it's not her fault that the courts are so backed up that it will take a while for visitation. I also told her that I feel it is good that she is letting him see the baby in her home only because if she lets him take the baby and he doesn't bring the baby back, there is nothing my sister can do, she will have to wait to go to court to get the baby back. Opinions please, but please, on bashing, she wasn't trying to be the other woman, he was getting divorced and he betrayed her.

Oh the other thing is, the wife is mad because in our state, other kids that you are not paying child support on don't count when figuring child support so the child support she will get is a little over 1/7th of their current income (the wife doesn't work

UPDATE
My sister had the baby 2 days ago. Both she and the baby are doing well, I am excited, the baby looks just like my sister when she was a baby. Anyway, she put her last name on the birth certificate, and in our state, even when the father files for rights of the child, he can not make her change it to his last name. While in the hosptial, she filled out the paperwork to file for child support, I filed it for her today and child support enforcement says that they will have him served within the week and that child suppor will be set up within 25 days of that. We decided that the best was to insure there was no problem in the delivery room was not to call when she went into labor. She called him the next day and told him that he could come she the baby but his wife was not welcome. His wife came anyway and refused to leave so she called security and the wife was taken out in handcuffs (yes, I was able to descretely snap a pic lol). Anyway, she told him he could come see the baby at her home, just call first but again, the wife couldn't come. Well today, he was served the paper work and his wife is PISSED, aparently, she thought that child support would not start until visitation WRONG!!! She called and yelled at my sister saying that she is stealling money from her family and she should be ashamed, my sister told her to shut up and hung up. Anyway, my sister is now looking into getting a restraining order against the ex wife for her and the baby cause the ex wife has threatened to take the baby and she'll never see her again. If she gets it, either the father won't be able to take the child to his house EVER or the wife will have to leave the home while he visits with the child and his other chilren.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • lmao! YAY! Think its hilarious about snapping a pic of the wifey! LOL. please post? haha!
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 10:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • :( it's on my phone and I have one of those old ghetto phones and allows you to take pics but you can't get them online or anything but I asure you it was FUNNY. She was screaming the whole way down about how that was HER baby and my sister is a home wrecking whore bla bla bla. I was really happy he was served today, I filed the papers for her this morning but my mom has a friend who works there and she put him at the top of the list to be served! The wife is so mad because the child support my sister will get will be about 1/7th of their income.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thanks for the update. I wish your sister well in the future. Sounds like she is doing everything right so far and is on the right track. It's awesome she has you to helping her out. Enjoy your nephew.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 10:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I agree! I applaud your sis for filing for child support, i do not one second doubt that it was a bad decision, if that made cannot handle his responsibilites and lead that woman on, thinking he was going to marry her, is jsut totally WRONG! The nerve of him,....2nd I would have NEVER let himand his wife in the delivery room. WHAT IN THE HELL was that woman smoking to think she would be in that delivery room lol....wow, dumb woman! 3rd, i would get the restraining order! if NE1 threatens to take my children away and ill never see them, someone better hold me back, NEVER IN My LIFE!!!!!! That child deserves it's father, even if the father doesn't deserve his child, but if that means he cant have visitation in his own home because of his wife, SO BE IT, ur sister is that babies MOTHER and always will be.....i wouldnt trust him or her for one second! i wish her all the best of luck and to the baby as well.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 10:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • LMAO how is it HER baby? Ha ha ha!
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 10:07 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Wow! What a tangle web we weave! The wife should be taking her anger out on her husband, he DID cheat on her! I feel so sorry for this child brought into this world and all around is hatred & stress! I'm glad your sister filed for child support, it is HIS child.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 10:07 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Wow thanks for the update! And this wife sounds like a crazy bitch! I'd be SURE to get that restraining order on her! Good luck!
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:09 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Kathy675, he didn't realy cheat on her, they were seperated, but it was STUPID of her to take him back, can you imagine taking your husband back after he got another woman pregnant and got engaged while you were separated?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Kudos to your sister. Sounds like her baby has a wonderful mommy.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Oh, my sister is such a good mommy, I am so proud of her.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:23 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN