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Not ready to leave my son...

I am getting married in June to my fiance and my son's father. I am a younger mom...got pregnant at 20, had my son at 21 and I'll be 23 in 2 weeks. Since birth my son, now 18 months, have had a very close bond. I still have never left him overnight. I do go out occasionally but I always come home after 5 or so hours. He will be 2 in August, so he'll be almost 2 by the time of the wedding.
My fiance and I have started talking about what we want to do about a honeymoon. At this point, I am not ready to leave my son for more than 1 night. I would be okay with 1 night but I would miss him too much after that. My parents suggested maybe going somewhere for just 3 days, instead of a week, and my in-laws think my fiance and I need a whole week to ourselves. I'm still feeling like even 3 days is too long and I don't want to spend all this money if I'm just going to be upset and want to come home.
I'm not too worried about my son because he loves my parents and that's where he'll be staying, but I am a little scared for him. My fiance was fine with just the 3 days...he actually seemed to not care about a honeymoon at all, I mean we live together, we've obviously had sex already so there's nothing super exciting to do.
I'm thinking that maybe we could post pone the honeymoon until a later date when I feel comfortable enough to leave for a longer period of time? Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?
Either way, my inlaws are gonna be pissed if the honeymoon is less than a week, let alone not have one right away...which I don't care if they are mad, its none of their business.

 
Ash9724

Asked by Ash9724 at 10:02 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,107 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You answered your own question... it is none of their business what you do. Do what you and your fiance and your son feel most comfortable doing. They can get over it. Maybe just stay at a nice hotel on your wedding night and do something fun together the next day. It is not as if you are moving in together as a newer couple, so a longer honeymoon can wait until you are all more comfortable. Have an anniversarymoon in a few years!
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • What's your budget? If you have enough, I recommend a cruise- and take your son with you. They have those play clubs for kids where he can have fun during the day (at least I know the carnival cruises do) and you and hubby can have alone time, but he'll only be away from you for a few hours at a time. And you can find them pretty inexpensively too.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 10:18 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Show your fiance that he means as much to you as the child. Give him the three days. It can be three days and two nights if that helps but your child will be in good hands and your fiance needs to know you want to be with him for at least a couple of days.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • If neither of you cares to go - then don't go. OR if your fiance doesn't care, find a hotel or place that offers child care where you can drop him for several hours at a time while out doing stuff on your honeymoon, and then you can have your little one with you for meals and at night. ...Not the typical honeymoon, but hey if that's what you would prefer, go for it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • dont let the in laws push you into something you dont really want to do and if you tow arent really into the idea of going on one now it doesnt mean you cant have one later and you can save the money for something else or do something small as a family.. Have Fun and Congrats on the Wedding
    mommato2boys79

    Answer by mommato2boys79 at 12:29 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You're right it doesn't matter what the in-laws think. It's totally up to you what you want to do that night. If nothing else, at least go to a hotel for one night to celebrate. You're at least entitled to a little time for a honeymoon. Just tell them that you will take another one later for a longer period of time.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:49 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • How about you try a night away from your son and see how it feels. For example, maybe your parents or your fiance's parents can babysit your son overnight next weekend and you and your fiance can stay home. It will give you an idea of how it feels to be away from your son for the night, but you will still be close enough to know he is safe and happy.

    Then, maybe you can try it for a longer period of time - letting someone watch your son from Saturday morning until Sunday evening, for instance.

    This might give you a better idea of what it will feel like to be away, and you will also gain more comfort and trust in someone else's ability to care for him.
    Holly.

    Answer by Holly. at 2:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011