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I feel like there is tension between my child's babysitter and myself.

My babysitter is also a good friend of mine. Since she has started watching my dd, there has been some tension both as friends and through our "business" relationship. She told me that she doesn't want to watch my baby after this school year, which I am fine with. However, now, I am uncomfortable being around her as friends. Also, it makes pick ups and drop offs uncomfortable. What can I do to make things normal again? Will we be able to return to being friends when this is all over?

Answer Question
 
Megs00835

Asked by Megs00835 at 10:25 PM on Jan. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (84 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Try & talk it out get to the root of the problem
    Marie_07

    Answer by Marie_07 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Talk to her. Could it be that you are a little jealous of the time she gets to spend with your child? Could you be worried about how she sees your parenting skills? Figure out why you feel this way and talk to her. Apologize for the awkwardness and tell her you want to move on to being friends again. If she is truly your friend, she will understand.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I agree, talk about it. Let her know that your friendship is important! Watching a close friends kids can be difficult.
    mslksdh

    Answer by mslksdh at 10:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • You just have to let it go. It's hard to mix friends and business. I run a babysitting service out of my home and was hurt when a good friend of mine picked to have a different mutal friend watch her kiddos. I had to let it go becuase someone in this situation HAD to be hurt, she could only pcik one. I never even mentioned it bothered me. Our friend who watches the kid now complains about how bad they are ALL THE TIME to me. I tell her to either give her 30 day notice or smile and deal. Watching kids is hard work and both the parent and provider need to relize that.
    hotrodlassie

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 10:31 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Everyone is telling you to talk to her about it. Be careful. What one parent finds "cute" another will find "obnoxious" it never feels good to have your child be critisized especailly from a friend. If your friendship can handle it go for it but If I was the provider, I would skirt the issue. i'm not in the business of making enemies.
    hotrodlassie

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 10:34 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • Thanks for the advice. The tension has nothing to do with my dd. She LOVES my daughter. Really I am ok with her not watching her. She wants to go back to school. I already have new child care set up for next year. You are right though that I should just have the uncomfortable conversation and ask what the deal is. After I set up new child care for next year she kind of gave me the 3rd degree about how I found her and tried almost to say that this wouldn't be a good situation. Maybe she just feels like nobody can give my dd the same kind of care. We never hang out anymore, but that might have more to do with the fact that she just never wants to leave her kids. hmm...Thanks all for answering.
    Megs00835

    Comment by Megs00835 (original poster) at 11:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2011

  • I don't know what your "business" is, but maybe she's jealous because you are spending more time with the business than her? Since she's been watching your daughter and you've been doing the ''business", maybe she's feeling left out.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:30 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

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