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someone please, i really need advice

my fiancee has an five year old little boy with anger and emotional issues that have come to light since he moved in with us. hes voilent at school,hes vulgar and throws things.we baker acted him once already. now i have an 4yr.old and an 11mth old.im also pregnant. im extremely affraid he will lash out on my girls. i dont want to give up what i have with my fiancee but i dont think i can live here with this child. what should i do?

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countrygirl3348

Asked by countrygirl3348 at 7:36 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • what does "we baker acted him once already" mean?

    have you taken him to a counselor to try to work out his issues?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • he was placed in the mental wing for three days, hes on anger and adhd meds that dont work..
    countrygirl3348

    Answer by countrygirl3348 at 7:40 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • meds are only part of the treatment. counseling is also necessary.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • he goes twice a week, he just seems to not want to live here, he was living with his grandmother and uncle for a while until we got the house ready.he has digressed since he moved in here and weve done all we can to make the transition comfortable. i really dont like the death threats on me and my kids from an five yr old.
    countrygirl3348

    Answer by countrygirl3348 at 7:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I would seriously consider sending him back to the grandmother and uncle. Chances are he got VERY spoiled there and there is just nothing you will be able to do about it. Of course he'd want to go back and be "king of the castle" than have to share attention with you, your daughters, and the new baby.

    the death threats alone are cause for alarms to go off in my head. I understand he's 5 and has issues but if an adult were to threaten your life, you'd call the cops and have them arrested right?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • theres where the problem lies, his dad wont send him back and i now live in fear for my girls. i think it has alot to do with his pride...
    countrygirl3348

    Answer by countrygirl3348 at 7:54 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I think it's time to have a sit-down with his dad.

    an 8 year old recently killed his dad. What would your SO do if his son killed you and the girls? IMO that is not something to risk over his pride. KWIM?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • i have thats why im concidering leaving with my girls. he thinks im being selfish but i feel im being protective
    countrygirl3348

    Answer by countrygirl3348 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • He is 5, don't just give up on him. There is something there that is going on to cause him to be this way. What was his life like the last 5 years how has it been for him. Just pawning him back off on his grandmother and uncle will only cause more issues. Good for your fiancee for wanting to keep his son and figure out a way to solve the problems. It's not easy and I'm sure it's frustrating, to ensure that he won't lash out at your daughters keep a close eye on him. Research what can cause anger issues and see if any of those things might fit this 5 yr old. I'm sure his father loves him issues and all so asking him to get rid of him will only cause an issue between you and your man.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 8:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • he was spoiled for four years nad i will not put my girls through hell just because he doesnt like rules and structure. not fair to them or me, i shouldnt have to be constantly looking over my shoulder. i would rather him be somewhere else spoiled and happy than angry and voilent here. his grandmother lives on the same block not like hes going far.
    countrygirl3348

    Answer by countrygirl3348 at 8:08 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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