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I just want to stop hurting....any words of encouragement will help!!

It was honestly all going so well, not kidding I had no warning signs at all. Last friday my boyfriend out of the blue told me he couldn't be with me anymore because he wanted his ex-girlfriend back. She is of course horrid, an unemployed, homeless, meth addict who had her own kids taken away. It hurts sooo bad that he WANTED to go back to that. He was wonderful to my kids, they absolutely adored him and he treated me like a queen. I am truly besides myself and seriously wounded this time around.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I doubt anyone is going to be able to give you the right words...just know that as time passes so will the hurt and pain. Focus on you and your one person can make you happy except you ...that sounds so simple but few people really ever get there.
    I will pray for you...(hope that doesn't offend) You will be OK mama for just being woman not to mention a mother makes us much stronger than any others. ((HUGS))

    Answer by mamakirs at 7:53 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • The only thing to make it stop hurting is time. Just think of what he left you for and realize that he isn't worth the tears you feel like sheding. I Couldn't even begin to give you a reason as to why he chose to go back to her other then he did, which makes him not worthy enough for you in the first place. Realize that his leaving you is giving you the opportunity to find someone better and make your life better without him in it.

    Answer by bubblycute at 7:59 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I am very sorry for you. I understand how hard it can be when someone you love leaves without any warning signs. I can not tell you when it will get better or when the hurt will go away. I would focus on your kids and yourself and make the best of the life you have.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • If he wants to be with someone like that let him go...of course it will be hard and take time...I promise everyday will get a little bit easier!! You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and wants to love you as much as you love them...god has other plans for you...its gonna be hard but you can do it...let it go!! good luck and god bless..

    Answer by tall_mom42 at 8:02 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • You are entirely right to be badly hurt and distressed. It is better that he discovered his desire sooner rather than later, but knowing that won't help your hurt. In time you'll start seeing sunshine again. Good luck, and hugs.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:11 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I think all the p.p.'s are right on. What supportive girls! Anyway, I think eventually he will realize that he made a huge mistake and probably try to come back to you and you will be looooong gone. You can take a little comfort in that maybe?

    Answer by jacy3031 at 8:11 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I agree with all the posters above -- focus on yourself and your children. Try not to obsess because that will just make it harder. BE STRONG -- against him and FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN. It'll be hard, but try to do things to get it off your mind (joining a gym helps -- working out and being around other people.)

    Hopefully, you have good friends and family to help get you through this. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. But just think of what a good person and good mom you are. And don't try to figure out WHY he went back to her or WHY he left you. Just try to focus on the good in your life.

    Answer by NovaChk at 8:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • It is better that it happen now then further down the road...concentrate on you and your children. You have to stay strong for them so that when they are faced with this situation someday they are strong to!

    You are so much better then him and will find someone even more fabulous then you ever imagined!


    Answer by abearshug at 8:25 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • addicts are great manipulators. She has probably convinced him that she needs him and will die without him. Many men need to be needed. I'm so sorry that he fell for her crap. I'm sure he will regret it. Meanwhile you and your children hurt. That's just unkind.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:04 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I'm so sorry. That is so hard. Try to take comfort in your children. They love you and need you and always will. You should focus on their love and be the best mom you can be just like you have been doing everyday up until now. Women are strong and are able to suffer through great heartaches for the sake of our children. I know it is of little consolation, but at least he told you up front and didn't run around behind your back like so many other men do. At least there's that. Hang in there, this too will pass. One of my favorite deacons at our Church always said "Look to the light and the darkness will fall behind you." If you are not religious this does not need to be a religious phrase, just look to what blessings you do have in your life: your children, your family, your friends. Be brave. I'm sorry.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:06 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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