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3 Bumps

i don't have anorexia but i'm pretty positive i have what causes anorexia. what do i do?

i work out a lot. always have. i know that my body looks textbook good but when i look in the mirror i see rolls that aren't there. i see myself as wide and heavy but i'm not, i see muffin tops that aren't there. there is a mirror at my gym right in front of the dumbbells. when i look in that mirror i see what is really there. i can see that i'm skinny and toned. but when i go home and i look in the mirror i see the exact opposite. i see someone who needs to lose 20 lbs that don't even exist to lose. the thing is i don't starve myself though. i eat enough, i eat healthy, and i don't deprive myself of anything. i just don't see why i can see what my body actually looks like when i'm at the gym but not at home. i have thought about not eating. i've never done it because i'm aware it will do me no good. the fact is this problem is hurting my relationship with my husband. he tells me all the time "you're so beautiful, you're so hot" but then i'll grab what is basically a small part of skin and say "look at this fat". it's at the point where i can't initiate sex because i'm so self conscious. i want to but i feel inadequate. i need him to come to me and that makes him feel horrible and inadequate. i just don't know what to do. i can't force myself to see what really exists when i look in the mirror. this is going to destroy my relationship. i had a baby 6 months ago. i'm 5'4". i weigh 115 lbs, my waist is 20 inches. i can't see any of that. the mirror says 200 lbs. how do i change what i see and make it what's really there? i can't afford treatment

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Health

Answers (13)
  • Sounds like you have body dysmorphic disorder, not anorexia.

    Do you have insurance? Most therapists take insurance.

    Answer by CarriePM at 12:44 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Honestly, I don't know what advice to give you. I will keep you in my prayers. Best wishes :)

    Answer by Raccoon at 12:46 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I have the same problem, but I am a little bigger then you. Though I am in the healthy weight range for my age/height I look in the mirror and see a 200 lbs. person! I am sorry for what you are going through because I know how much it sucks. The only thing I can do and I can tell you, is to look at yourself and tell yourself what is good. Try to really focus on the good and remember how you feel at the gym!!

    Answer by ILoveCade at 12:52 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • tape worms?

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 12:53 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Maybe the gym has funny mirrors? Maybe your home has funny mirrors...............If you're eating healthy and regularly go to the gym.................then I imagine you are doing your body good and need to find your confidence from within instead of various mirrors. ((hugs)) I'm sure you're beautiful!

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:55 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You can try reading about body dysmorphia and look for group therapy, if you're comfortable with that. It's much cheaper than one on one therapy (which is often covered by insurance, when it comes to this stuff, BTW). It's good that you recognize that you're not seeing reality, and that you want to do something about it. Surround yourself with as much support as you can rally, and people who won't judge you for your negative self talk, but who will give it to you straight, if that makes sense. You can also look online for support, as there may be places online for people to share their feelings in a productive way (although this could get dangerous as people feed into each others' problems...). I hope you're able to get the help you need before this becomes any worse, Hun. =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:57 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • it really is horrible and confusing that our minds can pull these games with us, thank you for sharing your story with me. thanks for the link, the prayers as well. i really want to get better for myself and my family

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:58 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • the gym doesn't have funny mirrors. it's one long flat mirror along the wall. just like the one i have in the bathroom. i think it's the fact that i'm bettering myself at the gym is the reason i see the truth there and not at home

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:00 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • and tape worms cause you to lose weight, not look like you have weight that doesn't exist haha

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:02 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I agree that it sounds like BDD and you need to find some help. But probably the first thing that I would do is either get rid of or cover as many mirrors in the house as possible. I've had other obsession problems at different times in my life and I've learned, at least for me, that the best thing to do is remove myself from that particular obsession for however long that I need to. That's what works for me.

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 1:11 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

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