Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Do you feel any sympathy for this mother?

The media in Australia this week has been reporting on a tragic case of a 2-year-old girl who drowned in 2007. In most cases, the drowning may have been considered accidental. Tragic. A horrific, freak event. But her parents are being accused of murder because before her death they asked social workers and doctors if it was possible to kill their child legally.

Why?

Their daughter had Rett Syndrome, a genetic form of autism.

Every time I read about a child being killed (allegedly in this case) by their parents or guardians, any child, my heart breaks. I fall in the It just doesn't seem fair that the very people who are supposed to protect them most in the world caused their deaths. But a special child? A child who will likely need lifelong care and protection? Unfathomable. A child is a child is a child. But causing the death of a child BECAUSE of their disability is just about the most retched thing you could do as a human being, in my humble opinion. You suck as a human being, my friend.

Sure, I'm extra-sensitive because, NEWSFLASH! I have children with special needs. One of my children will always need 24-hour a day supervision. He will likely never, ever live on his own. He cannot communicate verbally. He needs us to be his advocate and protector. And we won't always be there for him, which scares the dickens out of me. But we do the best we can. Why? Because he is our child and that is our job. We are parents first, special needs parents second.

This child's death strikes a nerve with me for more than one reason. It breaks my heart that we live in a world that devalues people with disabilities. It just goes to show you that we have a LONG way to go in terms of awareness. But the scary thing? This happens again and again. People, who are misguided, kill their children. They claim that it is too stressful to handle a child with special needs. Others empathize with them and they are coddled and everyone gets all riled up about how difficult it is to parent a child with special needs! No wonder they killed them! It's so stressful! And sad! And depressing! They are mentally ill! There's no quality of life! There's no hope! NEGATIVITY AND SADNESS PLUS INFINITY!!!1!!!ELEVENTY!

And I'm here to speak for those children. Because their life is a life worth living. I'm here to speak for the little girl in Australia, whose parents failed her and allowed (or directly caused) her death because she was a "burden" and threw a wrench in their travel plans. I'm here to speak for children like Katie McCarron, killed by her own mother because she felt guilty for vaccinating her daughter and didn't want her to be a burden. I'm here to speak for Zain and Faryaal Akhter, whose mother first tried to poison them with drain cleaner and then choked them with wire, because they were autistic. I'm here to speak for Jude Mirra, whose mother stuffed a lethal dose of prescription drugs down his throat, because she wanted to "end his suffering." I'm here to speak for Rylan Rochester, whose mother suffocated the infant because she feared he was autistic and better off dead than being a burden to her husband.

I'm here for the countless others -- hundreds of others -- around the world, killed at the hands of their guardians because of fear. Fear of parenting a disabled child. Fear of burdens and life changes and suffering.

Guess what? Parenting is difficult. Parenting a child with special needs is difficult. Having children puts a damper on some of your life plans. GET OVER IT. Grow up and be responsible. You are a parent. You are supposed to make sacrifices for your children. Just because they are disabled doesn't mean you get a free ticket to complain about how awful and rotten and difficult your life is. Your children are not a burden. Euthanasia of a disabled child is never, ever okay.

Does it sound like I'm judging them? GOOD. Because I am. And don't say that I don't know what it's like to be them, that I have no idea how it feels to be in their shoes, because I do. I go to countless therapy and doctor's appointments each week. I have specialized equipment in my home. I struggle to get my child to eat and take medication. I have nights that I don't sleep at all. For weeks in a row. I struggle with discipline. I have no idea when my kids are sick. I have padlocks and alarms on the doors so that my child doesn't escape. I sleep lightly in case he wakes up and wanders away in the pouring rain at 3 a.m. naked. Again. We have public meltdowns and can't eat in some restaurants anymore. I live it each and every day. And still, my children are not a burden. Because they are my children. And I'm a parent, just a normal, everyday parent, doing what I'm supposed to do: Loving my children unconditionally.

If you are a parent of a disabled child and you are having a difficult time, there is help and there is hope. It is challenging but you can do this.

 
TARARENEE

Asked by TARARENEE at 9:15 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Politics & Current Events

Level 24 (21,791 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I dont at all!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • No. I feel the same as you....


    If they no longer felt up to the job...find someone who would be,,,,,


    Murder, really?...


    How would that even cross ones mind....

    sweet-a-kins

    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 9:17 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Nope, there are plenty of people out there willing to give a child a home. I also think the workers failed because they knew the parents did not want the child and did not remove the child.
    sandbuster

    Answer by sandbuster at 9:25 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I feel NO sympathy for this mother. A child IS a child, just as we were a child once (for some, we still are) I could NEVER imagine killing my children, or even laying a hand on them to HURT them. MOST DEF. NOT! Special needs, or no special needs, every child deserves to life to live. How could someone do that? It takes a heartless MENTAL person to do that to there OWN child. It melts my heart, and if anyone ever hurt my child, they better hope I never find them. I watch Nancy Grace all the time, and when I see the one's where ''toddlers body found'' ... it just makes me want to cry,...I can't imagine. I do not have special needs children, and I do not know how much work and dedication it takes, but I know it can't be easy. But I can honestly say, my heart goes out to all you mothers who deal with that on a day-to-day basis and REFUSE to give up on your own child, now that's someone special <3
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 9:30 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I don't know much about Australia to be honest. I am guessing there are probably institutions for the developmentally disabled as there are here. The child may not have qualified but anything is better than intentionally killing the child. Yes some horrific things can happen in those types of places but even that would be better than murder.. Not only do I have no sympathy for them I find them to be disgusting.
    sopranomommy

    Answer by sopranomommy at 9:30 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • No sympathy for child killers!!! Seriously, what is WRONG with people?!? Those poor babies!! The only punishment suitable for monsters like that is a sharp stick up the hind end ( Vlad the Impaler style), put them out in a field and let the buzzards pick their rotting corpses!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:34 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • In a way, I do. I think killing her child is reprehensible, but I also think the mother must suffer some sort of mental illness to have been able to commit such an act. In no way do I condone her actions, but I have to wonder what the circumstances were for her to have brought her to that point. If she had no support, if she felt overwhelmed, if she had no education regarding Rhett's Syndrome and available therapies, if she felt completely lost and incapable of caring for this child and was beyond the point of seeking help, then I do feel a little sorry for her. I can't imagine harming my child in any way, but then again, I have the benefit of a great support system--friends, family, schools and access to information to help me help her. I wonder if anyone had tried to reach out and give her a hand. Raising a child with special needs can be a very isolating experience.

    jsbenkert

    Answer by jsbenkert at 10:17 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • No, neither can I. I don't know that woman's story. It's tragic enough to think that a mother would kill her own child for any reason. It would double the tragedy, to me anyway, to learn that she needed help, but couldn't find any. If it was just her, and her decision to kill her child because it was more convenient to her, I cannot give her even a little sympathy. If, however, she didn't have any support and had no where to turn for help, if no one could give her a few hours of respite or a sympathetic ear, I can understand how she could feel desperate and become unhinged. That's all I'm saying. In other words, if she killed her child in cold blood, she deserves the worst kind of punishment. If she needed help, but didn't get any, I understand how the distress could cloud her judgement--again, not an excuse--but I would feel sorry for her then, because it would have been desperation that drove her actions.

    jsbenkert

    Answer by jsbenkert at 10:41 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I DO NOT.
    TARARENEE

    Comment by TARARENEE (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I feel sympathy for the situation she was in but NO sympathy for how she decided to deal with it.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 9:32 AM on Jan. 14, 2011