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2 Bumps

Anyone else had this problem?

I am happily married and have been for 3 years, been together for 6 years. Recently, on facebook I found some old friends and one of them is a guy that both him and I always had this connection with each other since we were teenagers. We lost touch about 8 or 9 years ago. I didnt think nothing of it when we became friends on facebook since i am happily married but for some reason i cant stop thinking about him. I know that I may need to unfriend him and not talk to him since i am married but how do i get rid of the thoughts. Does this mean something could have came of us if we never lost touch? Does this mean I am not as happy in my marriage as I thought I was? I need advice from anyone that has been in this situation, what did you do or what happened. Thanks for your advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It means you're about to find out how solid your marriage really is. A see if you really care. My advice to you? Don't go there, trust me, leave it be. Nothing wrong with you two talking on face book, but let him know you're happily married. If feelings are emerging on your part, then maybe you're trying to test your marriage. I'm on Face book often, and I do run into guys I've dated, but I would never want to meet up with them, or jeopardize my relationship with my BF. Most of these guys were jerks anyway, and probably still is.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:59 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • It means you are thinking of the WHAT IFs! It happens to the best of us. You probably really are very happy in your marriage. It's just that the thoughts that were set aside as you made your life just came back. It's ok to think of WHAT IFs. Just keep in mind that they are just thoughts. You can't go back in time and change your life, and I don't think you would want to.
    You are probably not the same person you were back then either. Most likely, it wouldn't work out now, since you are in a different place.

    Answer by Dalimonster at 9:52 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sometimes..this type of thing just happens. It is just a feeling, but I would remove him from my friends with and "lose" contact again.. Good Luck!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:53 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I think it means you're human. but if thoughts of him are interfering with a otherwise happy life, then I'd stop the contact.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Your curiostity is getting the better of you and it means you are human. I'd lay off of facebook for a while and re-connect with my husband. Same thing happend to me but I was truly unhappy in my marriage, stuck as a stay at home mom and this guy paid attention to me and we fell in love. I am divorced and working, we all get along great and my fb boyfriend and I are living together and happy for the most part (every relationship has it's issues, none are perfect). don't do what I did just because I am an example that it can go right. Listen to your heart and what it wants and do what's best for you!

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sounds to me like you've got a bit of fantasy on your hands. That's it. No big deal, unless you make it a big deal.
    It doesn't mean that you're not still happily married, however, if you let it, it might eventually cripple the way you feel about your husband. In fact, there was a question on here a couple of days ago about a woman who it seems has already gotten to that point fantasizing about her ex.

    Unfriend the guy.
    If you find yourself stalking his page, it may be time to give facebook a rest for a while.

    Besides, if the connection was really that strong, you probably wouldn't have lost touch for so long, if at all to begin with.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 10:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I think it's normal. Just be cool. It's fine. Why are you questioning your marriage? You are either happy or you aren't in your relationship. Other people come along, and we think about them. If you let that go to where you think about cheating, then ya, delete the guy and move on.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:45 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I've felt this way before. I simply reminded myself that fantasies are perfect, but life isn't. I also reminded myself about the things that prevented me from ending up with him in the first place. Why didn't it work out for you two? Why did you lose contact?
    Then remember all the things you love about your husband. He is the one who has been there for you...this guy hasn't.

    Answer by brandyj at 12:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Do not be friends with him. U know u will be upset if you found out that ur husband has the same thoughts that you're having for another female. Stay away from the other guy.

    Answer by Prayforblessing at 12:49 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • It's best to keep the past in the past.
    If you are happy now, there's no reason to go back.
    Maybe what you are feeling is flattery?
    Try to block those thoughts.
    Remember why you are with who you are with.
    You'll never know, but the grass is probably the greenest, where you are standing.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:47 PM on Jan. 14, 2011