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school suspension

my 7th grader has been suspended due to an agreement that she broke of not being a model student,and they suspended her till the 14th of february she is doing homework packets at home. She hasnt been allowed to call or see her friends accept on facebook on rare occasions. Now she came to me yesterday really upset about something a friend said to her, This girl said not to come back to school because if she does her other friend will leave school because they are saying that when my dd comes back they will suspend any and all who hang out with my daughter is theirs any trouble. My daughter and her friends have been looking forward to my dd coming back and now this shit hits the fan and I'm really pissed off that the school can't even give my daughter the chance she needs with her friends to try again,what am I suppose to think and or do in this case? Just let it go and pray things go smoothly and that these girls dont change schools? I mean these girls have been into trouble numerous times without my daughter present since my daughter has been suspended. It really angers me that these parents think my daughter is the root of all their daughters problems its like they think their dd's do no wrong. Please don't bash me or my daughter,I need to know what you would do in this situation,should I talk to the parents and the school?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I think you need to meet with the prinipal and find out exactly what was said and why.

    Answer by Marwill at 10:47 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sad but true...

    It is like "My daughter would never" I say get over it, kids will be kids and whether she does it in front of you or behind your back.... They do what they do....

    I would call the school and tell them you want a parent meeting and tell them what is going on. That way you can air it out, and move on, some parents act like they are the child and they are in school.

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:49 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I think it depends on who, exactly, is saying this. If it's the parents saying that they think your dd is the problem and that they aren't allowed to hang around with her anymore, then honestly, there isn't a whole lot you can do about that. If it's the school saying it, then what I would do is schedule a conference with them. (And this could be a good idea to do anyway...)

    Go in and sit down with the school and with your dd, and, if they are saying it about her friends, then maybe even have a second meeting with the friends / parents there, too. Tell them outright and nicely that you understand that your dd and her friends got into a lot of trouble, and that you are wanting everyone to work together to prevent any problems when she comes back. Then, ask them what they think would be the best way to avoid problems.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:51 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • cont

    Then, it can be presented as you are all - school, parents, and kids - working to make sure that there are very clear and reasonable guidelines set down by the adults and that the youth will follow them, and if not, then all parties involved understand this is the consequences.

    But, and this is NOT a bash - maybe this could also be a blessing in disguise. If she got into so much trouble with them, and they're still getting in trouble without her, then maybe it will be easier for your dd to sort of get things turned around and straightened out if she's NOT hanging out with those same girls, kwim? It would be hard, but this could be a good chance for her to start over and make some different friends, ones with whom it might not be so tempting to get into trouble. Again - I don't mean that as a bash! I mean it sort of like how a smoker trying to quit doesn't go hang out at the smoke break area, because of temptation..

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:56 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Not a bash at all but I am assumming that whatever happened was a pretty big deal to have such a long suspension.

    Telling students that if there is anymore trouble they will be suspended just sounds like they are putting it out there so there are no questions later. If they don't cause trouble, no suspension.

    If a parent wants to pull her kid from school nothing you can do about it, Sounds to me like the parent would be avoiding the true issue but so is life.

    Answer by Charis76 at 11:02 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You cannot control what other parents do with their children, you can only control your own. For a child to be suspended as long as yours has been, then something more than not being "a model student" happened. It is a parents job to protect their children from bad influences and if my sons friends kept getting in trouble and his friends kept getting in trouble, then I would keep him from those friends too.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • its exactly what I said tyfry,she wasnt being a model student with the contract she signed. She had an incident 2nd term with a ton of other people and the school made them all sign contracts that if they didnt behave the would have to go to pm school for a term and a 1/4. However some adults thier that dont like my daughter said if she returns and her friends cause any problems,they said they will blame it on my dd. I think thats a crock of hooohaaaa.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:27 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I think if kids are gonna be rude to teachers and mean to peers then they should be suspended just not for a month and a half i think its ubberly too long. I also think they should make a class just for kids that teaches behavior skills and if its problems with tardy issues then a way to help them be organized so they arent tardy.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:31 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Put this issue in the box of not your problem mom. What other people say about you is none of your business. Move through this with your daughter and leave the rest alone.


    Answer by rosetoes at 11:53 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I agree with you about the kids should be punished for their actions, not punish your dd.

    But, with all due respect, I don't think that the school should be required to have a special class to teach them how to behave. That's the responsibility of the parents. They should be educating them, we as parents should be raising them, and teaching them how to behave is a raising them thing :-) I understand that it's hard with teens (I have 2 teens myself), but it's still on us.

    But the other kids should be held responsible for their actions. Hopefully, she will be able to hang with her friends and they will all stay out of trouble after this, but the thing is, if not, and their parents are afraid that they won't be able to, then that could be a blessing for your dd, because then she can start to hang out with kids that there isn't this history with, and she won't have problems anymore.

    gl to you and your dd!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:07 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

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