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My first and only daughter is 13 months old and still screams bloody murder when close friends and family she sees almost everyday try to hold her out even get too close. Me and my husband have always rescued her and held her when she acts this way because we don't want her to be afraid but I'm afraid we have trained her to fear everyone even though we try to treasure her that its okay. How do I fix this now? Its embarrassing and can't be good for her.

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Asked by lawyertxmom at 11:26 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • It could be that she feels overwhelmed by their attention, or there is something about them (smell, loud voice... whatever) that 'scares' her. My youngest was like this with my dad and my mil, he would NOT go to them at all! In my son's case it was because both mil and my dad are loud, and "scary" and they also tried to push the issue and push themselves at him. So what I did is told them that they need to stop trying to force themselves on him, they need to back off , ignore him and let him go to them when he is ready! (and yes, he did eventually go to them willingly once they 'ignored' him and left him alone). So I would suggest to family/friends that they 'ignore' her and let her make the 1st move and go to them.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:32 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I'm going to second MizLee. My dad was overbearing too, and smotheringly affectionate. My mom was always scolding him to let children come to HIM.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:44 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My daughter is this way with my mother in law. What usually works is dont force your child to go to them to let them hold your child. Let them come into your childs area and let your child go to them. My mother in law is loud and over bearing and my daughter has feared her since she was tiny. Now we let my mother in law sit on the couch for a while then my daughter will go up to her after a while...... So I guess I am thirding what mizlee said.

    Answer by navyjen at 3:05 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Now I feel worse because all of my family, and my hubby's family, are really gentle folks. Well groomed, not scary looking, in the education field and they all NEVER try to hold her but always just talk to her and play with her from a distance and let her crawl over to them. She'll smile at them, apprehensively, but never any more. I'll try to hand her off to them when she's being friendly and we are always going toward them, but as soon as she gets close, she screams bloody murder to the point she'll almost throw up

    My family and my hubby's family, and my friends, all say that this will pass and not to worry but I'm feeling odd because she's the only baby in our entire circle who is TERRIFIED of kind, quiet and loving people who I have to admit aren't the slightest big intimidating. I WISH that was the problem. They're all super kind and patient. I'm so frustrated!! Any other ideas? Please help!

    Comment by lawyertxmom (original poster) at 8:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

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