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7 Bumps

Surrogate Motherhood

I am interested in becoming a surrogate mother for a couple who are our dear friends...they haven't been able to conceive yet, had an adoption that the birth mother revoked within her time to do so... and I really would go through with carrying a baby for them so they can know the joys of parenthood! My husband is a NO GO! And I can understand because there are so many legalities that we would have to go through...I am just so willing. Need some advice

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MrsJStearns

Asked by MrsJStearns at 11:55 AM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,706 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • First of all it's something that you and your husband need to agree on. If it's something you are really interested in just talk to your husband and get him on board first.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 11:57 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • The only advice I can give is that if your husband isn't down for it, then don't do it. Pat yourself on the back for being willing to go the extra mile for friends, though, whether you end up doing it or not. Says a lot about the kind of woman you are. :-)
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 11:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I agree with Snewo. Also, make sure that surrogacy is legal in your state.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Thanks for commenting! I definitely agree!
    MrsJStearns

    Comment by MrsJStearns (original poster) at 11:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I know there is a gal in my group has done it. If you do a group search there you can pull up her name. I am sure she is willing to talk to you about it.
    Jambo4

    Answer by Jambo4 at 11:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Agree with Snewo! Husband NEEDS to be on board first. You don't want to break up your marriage because of this. Maybe a couple counseling sessions will help him come around and see that this is really important for you.

    BTW, it take a strong woman to do this so I commend you! ;o)

    Good Luck!
    alyssamal

    Answer by alyssamal at 11:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You are an awesome woman for wanting to do it!

    I agree talk it about it with DH did he tell you why he didn't want you to do it? He could have fears about how it would effect you.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 12:04 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My hubby can't see us carrying a child and bonding to going through the birthing process and giving the baby away. I guess I just see things differently.
    MrsJStearns

    Comment by MrsJStearns (original poster) at 12:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I can see where he's coming from, but technically you wouldn't be giving the baby away, since it wouldn't belong to you. I do think it would be hard to go through, though. BUT, if you could get him to see that you are carrying a baby for dear friends who would see this child as a great blessing... Would he ever look at it that way?
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 12:14 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • no the baby isnt Biologically yours but Technically it would be most states dont recongnize surrgency. The women who gives birth to the baby has all rights to baby so i can see why your husband would be nervouse about it. If you guys get on the same page and decide to go through with is make sure you use a lawyer for all the sticky legal work that will be involved and check what your state laws are.
    Jaxsmommy09

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 12:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

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