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4 Bumps

turning in an "older" child

Is it possible to get ahold of child services and basically give up an older child, 4 almost 5, without being charged with anything or doing anything wrong. I love my children to death, but I'm having extreme difficulities dealing with the oldest one right now. And i've talked to her dr.'s as what to do, and what i can do, and i'm not getting any help anywhere. And i think i may be having some mental health issues after this last baby, 8 weeks old. But there are times the 4 year old pushes things to the point where it almost makes me want to become abusive, and that scares me. I've never abused her, and i don't want to, but i'm starting to scare myself sometimes by how angry i get. And i've even given myself timeout, i'll lock myself if the bathroom if i think i may do something out of anger, and she will come to the bathroom door and taunt me, and still try to come in after me. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I don't want to give her up, but i'm just trying to explore my options so any advice would be welcome, but please don't bash. I'm just trying to figure out what's best for my baby girl and i don't think her being around me while i constantly feel hostile towards her is it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (19)
  • I do believe if you do this you would have to give the baby up also. I feel for you. I am pretty much in the same boat with my two kids. DH would never agree to it though. I am trying counseling as a family to help us all. Social services helps us try to stay together as a family by providing services. Here it is called the Foster Parent Prevention program. Give them a call and see if they can help you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • good luck to you both!

    Answer by gardenchic at 1:20 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Get some counseling before it is too late, you are walking a thin line, do it now!

    Answer by older at 1:21 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You said that you have taken her to the doctor, what about taken yourself to the doctor? I don't know much about it but perhaps this could be part of postpartum depression. What else is she doing? The examples you gave kind of sound like a normal 4 year old. Is she jealous over the baby? Do you guys have some extra money that perhaps you could put her in preschool a couple mornings a week or have relatives that could spend a few hours with her here and there? With you occupied with a new baby at times she most likely wants attention and may be bored.

    Answer by JamieLK at 1:21 PM on Jan. 14, 2011


    Answer by 2ndiapers at 1:23 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I would suggest going to counsaling. phyciatrists or something. Family and individual counsaling. Kids will push you. It happens. And if you are having issues with this one and thoughts like that whos to say if you don't get help you wont have the same thoughts or issues with the youngest one at some time too. Get some counseling.

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 1:24 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I totally agree about the postpartum depression you should talk to your doctor. Is there a family member that would take her for a little while?

    Chances are they would take the baby too I would think..... If you would harm the older one why not the littler one would be the thinking

    Answer by Charis76 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • have you tried talking to her. maybe something has happened to her and she doesn't know how to deal with it. maybe its just a phase. I'm just not sure how or what she could be doing that you might want to give her away. i know my 4 yr old has giving me lots of stress but i love her and would never want to give up on her. can you be more specific on what she is doing that is so wrong? maybe that's why i don'tunderstand.  just don't make any rash decisions that you might regret later in life. maybe counseling will help not only her but you too. i hope you both can get to a better place.


    Answer by Christieluv0614 at 1:29 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • have you talked to a doctor about postpartum depression? you may be having it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I went through postpartum depression and it sounds like you may be experiencing some symptoms. Go to your dr and see what your options are before you take a major step to relinquish your rights to your child(ren)

    Answer by MrsJStearns at 1:38 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

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