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I have a question please only advice no bashing . . .

ok so I believe that my ss is perposly hurtin my dd he is 10 she is 5 and she has bruises on her leg and foot right now and is always saying he hit kicked or pushed her I try to keep them apart and try to get my husband to help b/s I really don't know what to do but my husband believes ss no matter what and my dh has lied to me about things ss has done example ss wrote on dds doll " asshole megan from parker " then denied it lied all out 100 % swore he didn't do it then told dh the truth that he did do it dh covered for him and it was obvious b/c dd couldn't write at the time she was 3 and couldn't spell or write like that I just don't know what to do he teaches my dds about dieing and shooting things he always talkis about killing and hurting things and has got them walking around saying " you wanna fight " and I just don't have a clue what to do please help !

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msh88

Asked by msh88 at 3:42 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,327 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'd give a call to his school counselor or psychologist. It's highly likely he's having school drama too. I am fairly sure you're required to report it in some way.... pediatrician perhaps?
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:44 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I would talk to a counsalor/ phychologist. Definatly get some help. If the dd story is the same (sounds like it). I would definatly believe her about this. Good Luck and blessings
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 3:48 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • talk to school officials
    tinamarie1972

    Answer by tinamarie1972 at 3:48 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • He sounds like a kid. Maybe she has hit him. My DS and DD are always at it and he's 2 years older only I worry more about her cos he could cause more harm. My sisters and I battled it out till we were adults. I guess Marriage and Family Therapy wouldn't hurt plus activities to keep them busy. He could benefit from a good therapist and karate. Karate teaches so much more than most think. Try more positive and proactive approaches instead of things like "who is at fault" and "who is lying".
    SwePea

    Answer by SwePea at 3:48 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I had similar things happen with my sd (not hurting a sibling) but hurting other things. Examples, throwing our new kittens across a room like a ball, one time she killed a bird and we found out because she wrote about it in details. She was always resorting to hitting and kicking and saying how she would hurt you if she didn't get her way. We went to family counseling. I think it is very important to do that in this sort of situation. It could be anger issues about being a blended family, jealousy. It could also be something else that a professional needs to address, when they start talking about killing and that you need to take it very serious. My dh didn't want to address it either and covered for her too but you HAVE to address this with a professional. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • "he teaches MY dds about dieing and shooting things" For one, most boys talk about death and shooting. You may not like it but it's true. And two, you need to stop separating them. That's his sister two and imagine why he may resent her right now. He's a child and his father had another kid with someone else. I think he's acting normal. It's not right BUT I suggest you do what you would do if he was your biological DS. You would sympathize and try to get him help.
    SwePea

    Answer by SwePea at 3:53 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I agree with hibbingmom you have got to report this it is for his safety and well being just as much as your dds. He is yelling out for help and if his dad doesn't want to see it then you have got to help this child. Good luck
    LADYA1983

    Answer by LADYA1983 at 3:59 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • i'm not trying to treat him any different he never sees his mom I am doing everything as far as that goes I love him have loved him since I met him years ago nothing has really changed to make him start doing these things but he makes it perfectly clear that I am nothing to him he does not love like or want me around I am sooo confusedhe is only like this w/ her and he has a big brother dd 5 dd2 and ds 4 mos I want to help him that is part of the reason I am here to figure out where to start
    msh88

    Comment by msh88 (original poster) at 4:01 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • As serious as the issue is with the stepson, I'm actually a bit more concerned about D(not for dear)H's coverup. If he's allowing this stuff, there is a major problem here. Counseling is in order... for BOTH of them.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:10 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I would send him to a therapist and start putting my foot down.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 12:47 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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