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Anyone here a Wife to an Oil Rig Worker?

My husband is leaving at the end of the month to go start a job as a "roughneck" on an oil rig.
He will be gone for most o the month of Feburary. I have never been without him for more than a few days and I'm freaking out.

I would like to get in touch with other Oil Rig Wives just to gleen some helpful advice from them.
I have 3 children and we live in the same house as my IN LAWS. it's not a good situation and i feel like once he's gone, even though I'll have my InLaws, I'll still be alone.

Anyways. How does one handle life without thier husbands? How do i not fall apart?
My children are giving issues as it is I feel that without my hubby to help things will be horrible.

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MyIslandGirls

Asked by MyIslandGirls at 5:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (656 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • My cousin's husband works off shore in the med. sea. He is gone for a month. It is tough on her. Atleat you have your children. She has to be at home all alone. The positive way to look at it is when he is home he will be there for a month not having to work. That will be great in the summer when your children don't have school.
    1911

    Answer by 1911 at 5:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • DH has worked in the oilfield since before we met - I've never known any life other than that of an oilfield wife --- there is a support site for us... drillingahead.com
    You can find all kinds of support and people who are in the oilfield too,

    The times without them suck - but it gets in their blood - and just becomes a part of who they are.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My husband will be gone 3 weeks, home for 1 week. Then gone for 3, home for 1... until breakup Which is whenever the snow and ice melts. Then He'll start it all over again. So for the majority of time it'll be me and the kids alone. I don't count my IN LAWS because they are more of a hinderance than helpful.
    MyIslandGirls

    Comment by MyIslandGirls (original poster) at 5:17 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Best tip I can give you is this: Take the time he's gone like a dose of medicine, it can't be help, it's not his choice and it helps a Lot when it comes to the financial health of your family.

    Please remember that for every night you're laying down without him - he won't have you OR his bed. While you're at home - he's having to live in a make-shift dwelling. Try not to cry at the end of his week at home (when they have to leave us crying it tears them up) Trust me the braver you are and the more you realize that this is just a means to an end (eventually) the better off you, he and your marriage will be.

    I've seen a lot of marriages break up over the time apart and I have to tell you a BIG part of that was wives who berated and took their anger at being alone out on their husband who was alone himself. Especially the ones who accused their husband of being gone because he WANTED to. (like he can control the oilfield)
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:32 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Thanks Shelby. I know he doesn't want to leave anymore than i want him to go. I just feel really scared.
    I'm not sure how to make this work. He has to work his old job up until he leaves and I'm feeling like there isn't enough time with him.
    MyIslandGirls

    Comment by MyIslandGirls (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • O darling, that feeling will be with you for a long time --- do not let it get hold of you - you will be a miserable little darling if you even give it the power to linger on your mind....

    My first weeks I was terrified and bawled my eyes out --- then I made a conscience decision to to flip the finger to "isn't enough time" - I decided right then to start concentrating on ALL the wonderful, sweet, tender and exciting homecomings there's going to be. By the time our wedding came around (a year later) - we had become so accustomed to hugging each other EVERY time we saw each other - he just automatically grabbed me and hugged the snot outta me when I got to the alter.

    I finally got to a place where within hours of him leaving I was already planning his next homecoming.
    The moral is ---FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on the positive.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:45 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Focus on the positive. A Possitive is that this won't be forever. That this is a Stepping stone to better things for us. That this means I'll be getting lucky Every time he comes home. That I'mm be able to test the therory "abstance makes the heart grow fonder"

    MyIslandGirls

    Comment by MyIslandGirls (original poster) at 6:29 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My husband has been working offshore since May. He started three weeks on three weeks off. It was really tough at first because we never have been apart. But the money is good and it allows us to live better then before when we were struggling. He has always worked in a machine shop before going to a rig. We miss each other like crazy when he is gone but cherish the time he is home. I keep a notebook and write him a letter everyday telling him what the children and I did what I am thinking and just little random things and lots off x's and o's. It has been a little bit better not being around each other all the time but I still miss the fact he doeant come home every night for dinner and once the children are in bed I am alone with a cold bed. But give it time and the fear will subside. Just hang in there and connect with us other "rig wifes" if you need to. We can be each others friends while the men are gone.
    sunsetbeach81

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 7:48 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Does CM have a "Rig Wives" group? Maybe we should make one?
    Are there more Rig Wives than just us three?
    MyIslandGirls

    Comment by MyIslandGirls (original poster) at 8:31 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I dont know if they do have a group for rig wives on here but I think we should start one! Army wives have theirs we should have one to! I think it would be a great help to be able to talk and connect with others like us. Lets start one!!!
    sunsetbeach81

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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