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Did you always feel like you fit into your family?

Did you always feel included and loved and safe in your family?

If not, what could have been done differently to make you feel that way?

I ask because I did not always feel included and loved and like I belonged in my family, and I don't know why. I don't want to make my kids feel like they don't fit in, I want family to always be a safe, loving place for them.

 
Ati_13

Asked by Ati_13 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • No I don't feel like i ever belonged to my family. We are polar opposites. I swear if I didn't look like them I would say I'm adopted.

    As for my family, I don't know how to help my kids feel as if they belong. I guess love them as much as I can.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:18 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I am an only child so my parents and I were/are pretty tight. My extended family (I have 9 aunts/uncles) I rarely ever saw and still don't really so I feel terribly awkward w/ them. They threw me a baby shower in '04 and I hadn't seen most of them in like 5 years so touching my belly and stuff was crazy.

    My in laws make me feel included by default but not loved or accepted
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • No, growing up I did not. I am pretty different from my parents and siblings. My parents did not understand my weirdness and were put off by it. I don't know exactly what they could have done to make me feel more included because the fact of the matter was I just didn't relate to the rest of the family very much. For example, all 3 of my siblings were very involved in sports and cheerleading, which my parents very much enjoyed, while I was into music and reading. And they HATED the music I listened to, so it's not like we could have even really related on that if they'd wanted to "get involved" in my music.
    Now that I'm an adult, things are better...we've all kind of come to terms with things, so to speak, and keep the peace as much as possible, especially since grandchildren started being born. My parents seemed to have mellowed a bit as they've aged.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 5:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • no i always felt as if i didnt fit in. kinda like the odd ball. safe yes loved yes but i just felt like i was the odd one. no one ever listened or took me seriously and because of it i just became quiet. and the unfortunat thing about it is that they still do it. i still feel like im not heard and they try to play me like a toy. after the last time i saw them i finally made the choice of putting that toxic relationship out of my life it doesnt benefit me or my family.

    i vowed never to make either of my children feel like that so i listen to what they have to say and i include them in everything we do and make sure they know i love them both.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 5:26 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I did, but i was the only girl with 3 brothers, so they went out of their way to include me and as much as I did not get along w/my mother as a teenager, I always knew she loved me.

    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 8:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Yes I do!
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:36 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

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