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3 Bumps

When is enough enough in a relationship

My SO and I have always had a good relationship. He would always come over and spend time with me, taking me out to the park, swimming, the movies, whatever. Sometimes he would pay and others I would sneak money in his compartment in his truck just because. Then about 6 months ago I moved in with him in a house he has just bought and I swear it seems like the worst decision I ever made. His mother was staying with him at the time but after living here for awhile it seems more like he is staying with her. She was always around always in our problems and wanting to do whatever we did (mind you he's 25 and I'm 23) . Before long we stopped going out anywhere the only place he ever wanted to go was over his friends house, which I politely would decline at times, but tell him to go ahead. Then his mother began to do things to make our relationship difficult; telling him I talk to other guys on the computer, taking food i would buy and throwing it away because 'she thought it was old' down to flat out ignoring me completely. My SO tried talking to her and told her she was acting out and he even talked to his dad (who divorced his mom) and his dad told her she needs to stop or leave. Of course she didnt care and continued to act the same way. My SO has told me I just need to ignore her, but she does a lot of random things, disconnects the phones, messes up the kitchen after she sees me cleaning it, bangs on my door when Im sleep, and so on. I feel hes telling me this just so he doesn't have to deal with her and I've started distancing myself from him as well as her. I never asked him to slap his mom in the face but at least say something with some backbone. He even asked me to marry him and I don't want to because of this situation. Im looking more toward getting out of this relationship because its obvious neither one of them will change. The unfortunate part is I'm expecting but it doesn't help when Im in a situation where Im not happy. I think if I'm out on my own until (if) we do get married he'll appreciate me more. But at the same time I dont want to marry someone whose mother doesnt like me. My family is so loving and accepting and I have to put up with this nonsense its unfair and I just want peace because right now my relationship feels like its heading for the dumps.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You're already PAST enough. Time to move on. Momma's boy isn't seeing the problem.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:44 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I would move on, my prayers are with you
    Hope99

    Answer by Hope99 at 8:48 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like a mamas boy. Get out. I married one and it sucks, it NEVER gets better. I didn't realize how much of a mamas boy he was until we moved in together after we got married.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:50 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • awww I dont have the answers for you, I just kno how you feel . however I would like to say If u love this man its best not to let the mother run u off. good luck
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 8:42 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I "married" my mother-in-law in my first marriage. She lied about me, too. Not a good outcome. Divorced after 15 months. The only thing good was that I got full custody of my daughter. Not easy, but we made it. She's 41 now and happy. I'm happy.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 8:52 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Move on. Ask your family if you can stay with them til you can afford a place of your own stress ain't good when pregnant cause I was stressed when I was pregnant I went into premature labor eleven times if he really loved you he would stand up to his mom and tell her to leave
    lonemom1987

    Answer by lonemom1987 at 8:58 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I have a similar problem with my husband's mother. She used to flat out despise me but she does finally accept me now. For the most part she is decent to me, but her son can make that difficult at times when he runs to her with all our problems. He is a bad momma's boy, but I knew that from the beginning. I have dealt with it for a long time and there have been plenty of times that I have wanted to leave but I love him enough to ignore her pettiness. good luck with your situation. you will have to decide on your own if it is worth dealing with. It may only get worse when a grand child comes along, but it also may make it better.
    rweaver0774

    Answer by rweaver0774 at 9:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like a mamas boy. Get out. I married one and it sucks, it NEVER gets better. I didn't realize how much of a mamas boy he was until we moved in together after we got married.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388

    This exactly.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:07 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My SIL is a Mommies boy and my DD is so sick of it & her and so am I for her. She is first always my DD is 2nd, they have 4 kids, and I'm sure she wishes she knew this before she said " I DO." My SIL is never going to chg and it causes so many arguments but when Mommy raises them to be Mommies boy they just are not going to chg. It's down right sickening. As my husband says, " When is he going to get off of Mommies tit?" If he doesn't get her to move out now or you guys move out, your stuck with her for life. Time to make some chgs now or never !!!
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:20 AM on Jan. 15, 2011