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How can I help my mom heal from something so traumatic?

My mom just called me crying. She's distraught because she just learned about a memory she had repressed. Her father had schizophrenia and HATED my uncle, his firstborn. He tried to kill him on several occaisions. Tried to kill my grandma more than once, tried to kill their youngest daughter. My mom was his favorite, and he never tried to hurt her, but she witnessed him trying to murder her mother and siblings. Why my grandmother stayed with him I will never know.

My mom had forgotten about it, but on multiple occaisions my grandfather sat everyone down at the kitchen table and held a gun to my uncle's head. My uncle was very badly abused other than the attempts on his life, he was beaten and hurt and humiliated.

I'm sure she has PTSD because of all this. She has told me that she thinks she does. I live 700 miles away... how can I help her feel better? Hearing this has brought up all the memories of her brother (who died a few years ago) being hurt so badly, and she is hurting really badly about it right now.


Asked by Ati_13 at 8:35 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • All you can really do is to be supportive. She really does need professional help with this one. Maybe she can check into support groups for victims of domestic violence. If she has a church, many churches offer counseling. I'd call a crisis hotline in your mother's area, and see what kind of services you can find for her. Explain the situation. They may be able to find the right help for her.

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:49 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • She needs to talk to a psychologist.

    Answer by Snewo at 8:36 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • She needs therapy and if you can get her to get some therapy...your distance won't help.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:38 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • She's not going to go to a psychologist. She needs to, yes, but she won't. She would, I think, if she had more money, but she can't afford it.

    What can I do? Me, personally.

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 8:39 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Wish I could vote up answers more than once! ohwrite is so on target!!

    Answer by brandyj at 8:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • You could also check the phone book in her area for a Reiki practitioner. They help with things like that. Reiki is healing energies that help with body, mind, soul, and emotions. And, they aren't as expensive as a Doctor.

    Answer by Kimimale at 8:55 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Other than the above help suggested all you can do is be a compassionate listener. Your Mother just needs someone at this point to listen to what she has to say and get it off her chest without being judged or given any advise or feedback. That's the best I think I can tell you and hopefully she will eventually seek some medical help, but pushing her that way will most likely make her stop confiding in you. Just listen !!

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:11 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

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